TWO MADE ONE THE HAPPINESS OF MARRYING IN THE LORD

The Sure Foundation by William Penn

The Sure Foundation by William Penn (Click to enlarge)

Marriage is not a “Civil Right”. Marriage is an institution sanctioned by God for the express purpose of procreation and to advance the species in a manner (if done right) that is acceptable to God, which He gave us to also learn and experience something deeper than mere animal lust and self gratification!

TWO MADE ONE;

OR,

THE HAPPINESS OF MARRYING IN THE LORD.

A Sermon preached at the Quakers’ Meeting-House, in Devonshire-House, London, October 3, 1694, at a Wedding.

BY WILLIAM PENN.

IT becomes the sons and daughters of men to have a sense of their duty, that is incumbent on them, to the great God of heaven and earth; and the duty we owe to God, is to do all tilings to the praise and glory of his holy name. And happy were it for mankind if they were duly sensible of their duty and obligation to their sovereign Lord and Maker; and did set the Lord always before their eyes, and acknowledge him in all their ways, that he might direct their paths. It greatly concerns us to have an eye to the great obligation we lie under to him, who is our God and faithful Creator, that by his almighty power made us, and by his good providence hath preserved us, in the land of the living, to this day; to whom we are deeply indebted, both for our being and well-being.

They that have a sense hereof upon their souls and spirits, they will take heed not to offend him, for the fear of the Lord is planted in their hearts. This is true religion, the fear of God, which teaches man and woman, first to eschew evil, and then to do that which is good and acceptable in his sight.

The fear of the Lord, it is said, is a fountain of life, which preserves from the snares of death. No man that is replenished with the fear of the Lord can be destitute of divine life and comfort. Since the secrets of the Lord are with them that fear him, he will shew them his covenant. Abraham was said to be God’s friend, because he feared God, and God was his friend.

O my Friends! it is not a name to live; it is not the character of a profession; not adhering to a party, or being of such a society or church, or people; but it is the fearing of God, and keeping of is commandments, and believing in the Lord Jesus Christ, and shewing forth his virtues in our conversation, that doth speak us to be real Christians. ‘He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good.’ O man, that is, mankind; the whole race of human kind. ‘God hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?’ Mic. vi. 8. Let us all take heed to walk in this way, and that will give us acceptance with God, and fit and prepare us for his holy worship. Abraham was the friend of God, because he believed and obeyed, it is not enough to make a profession of religion, and godliness and Christianity, if we be found vain in our conversation, and to love the world more than God, and to be more careful what we shall eat, and what we shall drink, and what we shall put on, and how we shall divert and please ourselves than to please God. Our hearts and affections should be set on things above, and not on things below. We should, with the apostle, not look to the things that are seen and temporal, but to the things that are not seen and eternal. They that mind temporal things will fee disappointed upon a death bed; but those that fear God, shall not only have present peace, but future and everlasting comfort. Let us all endeavour to be purifying our minds, wills and affections, that we may enter into a holy covenant with God, into a heavenly marriage and league with him. They that are joined unto the Lord are one Spirit. As we come under the teachings of God, we shall be united in our love and affections to him, and delight ourselves in the Lord, who only can give us the desires of our hearts. The world passeth away, and the lustre and glory of it, and all the visible relations and capacities we stand in. Let us then use the world as if we used it not; and let them that have wives be as if they had none, (as saith the apostle) for the fashion of this world passeth away. There is a time to live and a time to die; and as sure as we die, we must be judged. Let every one of us endeavour so to live, that we may give up our account with joy, and not with grief. Let the fear of the Lord possess your hearts, which is the beginning of wisdom. When men and women do that which is pleasing to God, and live in the fear of God, and eschew evil, and do good, they, in so doing, promote their chiefest interest. The Lord takes pleasure in them that fear him: his salvation is nigh unto them that in truth call upon his name. We see God’s visible care over all the works of his hands. Here in this world, his goodness is extended to all, both good and bad; he is kind to the unthankful; he causeth the sun to rise on the evil, and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust; but in the other world there is no shining of the Sun of righteousness upon the wicked and ungodly; no comforts of the Holy Ghost, no manifestations of love vouchsafed to them; but there is a revelation of wrath, and the fiery indignation of the Almighty.

For the very prayers of the wicked are an abomination, and because they love the world more than God, and esteem it more than heaven, they shall never enter into it.

But, my Friends, seek ye the kingdom of God, and the righteousness thereof, in the first place, and follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord. Those persons that so do, have a solid foundation, they have a sure bottom that they can stand upon; they can look death and eternity in the face, upon this bottom, when they believe in the Lord Jesus with all their hearts, and shew forth all his virtues in their lives; having the promises assured to them, 1 Cor. 7. 1. ‘That God will dwell with them, and walk in them, and be their God, and they shall be his people. And I will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.’ Having therefore these promises, (saith the Apostle) ‘ let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and the spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.’ Now unto such, To live is Christ, and to die is gain.’ They live in holiness and purity, through the sanctification of the spirit, and belief of the truth, as it is in Jesus, being regenerated and born again, and thereby made meet to enter into the kingdom of God. It was sin that first brought down man, from glory to shame; Christ came down from heaven and glory, that he might bring man out of sin and shame to glory again; which by sin he had lost and forfeited. Our Saviour said unto Nicodemus, ‘Verily, verily, I say unto thee, except a man be born of water, and of the spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Marvel not that I said unto thee, ye must be born again; the wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but cannot tell whence it cometh, and whither it goeth, so is every one that is born of the Spirit. Nicodemus answered and said unto him, how can these things be? Jesus answered and said unto him, art thou a master of Israel, and knowest not these things?’ art thou a judge, and a law-giver, and not skilled in the doctrine of regeneration? man being fallen from God, there is no coming to God again without Christ, and without coming from that which separated him from the Lord.

God made all good, and man made all bad. Christ came into the world to make all good again.’ Christ died for all; but they only have the benefit of his death to salvation, that die to their sins. For sin will still live against them, for all Christ’s death, that live in sin and not in Christ. Friends, I desire that you may all come to a sense of your spiritual condition: the Lord is pleased to follow us with his mercies, and with many spiritual favours, and blessings: God is the fountain of all good, from whence comes every good and perfect gift; with whom is no variableness, nor shadow of turning; whom to know is life eternal: let us live suitably, be sensible of his mercies, and be fixed in our obedience ; for it is the obedient that eat the good of the land. Before the deluge came upon the old world, God sent his Spirit, to strive with them, to bring them to repentance. And this is our testimony, 1 John i. 2. 3. ‘That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our hands have handled, of the word of life; that which we have seen and heard, declare we unto you, that ye also may have fellowship with us ; and truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ.’ This is a time wherein we are to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling, and to give all diligence to make our calling and election sure. We have now a call to repentance, and if we faithfully answer that call, we need not fear a call to judgment; but we may, each of us say, with the Apostle, ‘I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith; henceforth there ts laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord the righteous Judge shall give me at that day; and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.’

Every one that cometh to God’s holy Spirit, to be led by it, He will lead them into all truth: if the Spirit of Christ dwell not in you, ye are none of ‘his. If we have the spirit of meekness, patience, humility, charity, and kindness, by these virtues and qualifications of Christ’s working in us, we are brought into a near relation to Christ, who is the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth. He is by nature the Son of God, and by participation of his nature, and adoption, we become God’s children too; and by the operation of the Holy Ghost, they that are born of the Spirit and partake of the fruits of the Spirit, have clear evidence of their being children of God. Gal. v. 22, 23. ‘Now the fruit of the Spirit, is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance; against such there is no law.’ If these things abound in you, you are free from the condemnation of the law. There are a people that bolster up themselves, and buoy up themselves, in not being under the law, but under grace ; but they are not yet come to the poor prodigal’s state, ‘ Father I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, and am no more worthy to be called thy son:’ nor yet to the state and condition of the penitent Publican, who prayed ‘ God be merciful to him a sinner;’ nor to Paul’s state, when he cried out, ‘O wretched man that I am, who shall deliver me r” this shall be for a lamentation, that too many are so little troubled, and concerned, for the loss of God’s favour, and of their own immortal souls; when the whole world is not so much worth as one soul. ‘What shall it profit a man to gain the whole world, and lose his own soul, or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?’ O how many do hazard their precious souls for the trifles of this vain world? let us all consider we must come to the bar of Christ the great judge of all the earth ; and if we be not found in him, not having our own righteousness, as the Apostle tells us; we shall be undone forever, and we shall see too late what we have lost: and like profane Esau, (we shall be rejected,) when he would have inherited the blessing he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears. There is nothing will remain then, but chains of darkness, they that loved darkness, here, shall he cast into utter darkness hereafter, even the blackness of darkness for ever.

Wherefore let all that believe in the light of the Lord Jesus, walk in it, and know and embrace the day of their visitation. You that know your Master’s will, be sure to do it, and he will say unto you, ‘well done :’ you shall hear that joyful sound, ‘enter into the joy of your Lord.’ God hath vouchsafed a merciful visitation, a day of grace and salvation, to the sons and daughters of men: He hath brought us from a gloomy night, and the dark clouds of ignorance and superstition, that our forefathers were involved in, and the day-spring from on high hath visited us: we have had the inshinings of divine light: yea, God hath brought us out of darkness into his marvelous light: let us walk as children of light, in the light of the Lamb of God. We live in the last days, wherein that promise shall been fulfilled, ‘That the Mountain of the Lord’s house shall be established on the top of the mountains, and shall be exalted upon the hills, and all nations shall flow unto it 5 and many people shall go and say, come ye and let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, to the house of the God of Jacob, and he will teach us of his ways, and we will walk in his paths.’ Pray consider what God speaks to the Jews, that were his chosen people, and what he says concerning his own institutions, when they were formal and hypocritical in the use of them: Isa. i. 12. 13. ‘To what purpose is the multitude of your sacrifices to me, bring no more vain oblations; incense is an abomination to me, &c. Your new moons, and your appointed feasts, my soul hateth; they are a trouble to me, I am weary to bear them: wash ye, make ye clean, put away the evil of your doings from before mine eyes; cease to do evil, learn to do well, &c. Come now and let us reason together, saith the Lord; though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow, though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool;’ God is no respecter of persons. My Friends, let us not be outward but also inward christians, in all our solemn meetings, and approve our hearts to God, and worship him in spirit and in truth. Let us consider that God is present in the midst of us.

All nations do acknowledge that God is omnipresent; the royal Psalmist thus addresses himself to God, Psal. cxxxix. 7, 8. ‘Whither shall I go from thy spirit, or whither shall I flee from thy presence? if I ascend up into heaven, thou art there, if I make my bed in hell; behold thou art there; if I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost part of the sea, even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.’ And the prophet Amos, tells us,’ it is God that formeth the mountains, and createth the wind, and declareth unto man what is his thought; that maketh the morning darkness, and treadeth upon the high places of the earth, the Lord of hosts is his name.’ O bow should we live and walk as in the presence of God! and set the Lord always before us, who is the supreme judge of the world; to whom we must be accountable for all our thoughts, words and actions. But how do the most of men live as without God in the world, live in a contradiction to their own rational natures ? God hath made men reasonable, and his judgment shall be most righteous and reasonable. The Lord hath given unto us his light and grace, if we do not improve it, and live answerably to it, we shall go down into perdition: therefore to day, while it is called to day, let us perform our duty to God, and one another, that it may go well with us for ever.

These things are of great importance which belong to our everlasting peace: these are not chimeras and enthusiastical fancies, but the great realities of religion. God hath been pleased in his admirable love and condescending goodness, to twist his glory and our felicity together, and to require nothing of us, but what is for our own interest and good: He is infinitely blessed in himself, and perfectly happy without us, but we cannot be happy a moment without him; yet we despise the riches of his goodness, that is extended to us: and like a foolish people and unwise, we are ready to frustrate the design of his mercy and kindness, and to receive the grace of God in vain.

Let this opportunity now before us, be carefully improved, in order to our spiritual benefit and advantage. Let our superlative love be set on the Lord Jesus Christ, who should be our husband and head. Let us love him with fervent and inflamed affections, as becomes the living members of his mystical body ; as those that are really united to him, and receive vital influences from him. We are now present at the solemnity of a marriage, which is a thing of itself joyous: but O let not our joy be carnal, but spiritual: let us rejoice in Christ Jesus, who for our sakes became a man of sorrows, that we might partake of that joy that is unspeakable and eternal. We may all live a happy and blesssed life, if we will live to his glory that is the giver of it, and set our affections on things above, and live in a deep and daily sense of our duty, to him that made us, and will make us happy for ever, if we be not wanting to ourselves. When the Lord-God first created man, he said, • It is not good that man should be alone, I will make him a help meet for him:’ and he caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and took one of his ribs, whereof he made the woman; and brought her unto the man, and Adam said, ‘this is bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh.’ Thus you see in the first creation; God made man and woman in one, he then joined them both in one person; then of one. he made them two; and after made them one again : b Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh.’ Gen, ii. 24. It is of very great importance to men and women, to dispose of themselves rightly in marriage: for it is for term of life; and it is that which makes people either easy or uncomfortable in their lives : therefore they must take care to be equally yoked, that they are one in judgment, and in affection. And when they change their condition, to marry in the Lord, that they may be meet helps and blessings one to another. God bath made us sensible of that delight and joy that is proper, both to the Outward and inward man, which makes us thirst after the happiness of our souls. This the saints in all ages have borne their testimony to; David who was a mighty hero, and king, a man after God’s own heart; he declares to us the temper and disposition of carnal men; they cry out, ‘Who will shew us any good?’ but this is the language and longing of the saints, ‘Lord, lift thou up the light of thy countenance upon us,’ Psal. iv. 6. That will make our hearts more glad, than those that have their corn and wine increased. The refreshing light of God’s countenance, and the sense of his love, is that which in all ages, hath been the consolation of the righteous, ever since the beginning of the world; and will be to the end fl it. So my Friends) we lay great stress and weight upon this, that married persons do not enter into that relation with a mere natural affection, or for worldly interest, or advantage: or to gratify a carnal fancy; but we must be in the exercise of a divine and heavenly affection; making the law of God our rule, and his glory our aim and end; remembering that we are none of our own, but are bought with a price: therefore we ought to glorify God, both in our bodies and in our spirits, which are His.

It becometh us to live as strangers and pilgrims on the earth; for we are but tenants at will of the great Lord; let us pass therefore the short time of our sojourning here in fear. The time past, is irrevocable; the time to come, is uncertain; and only the time present, we can call our own. Let us then improve it, while we have it; and in all our solemn meetings, let us have an awful sense of God upon us and love him, and live unto him; for we are entirely at his disposal. You that are strangers, and present in this meeting, may observe the order and method among us, with respect to nuptial solemnities. It concerns us to vindicate ourselves from those aspersions that have been unjustly cast upon us. We have no clandestine proceedings in any of our marriages, though we have been misrepresented to the world; we do observe that order and method which is set down in the holy scriptures, which are our warrant and direction. We have divers instances in scripture concerning marriages, that of Boaz and Ruth is a very eminent one; he solemnly took Ruth to be his wife, as in the presence of the Lord, and before the congregation, even all the people and the elders, and Boaz said unto them, ye are witnesses this day. And all the people that were in the gate and the elders said, we are witnesses, the Lord make the woman that is come into thine house like Rachel and like Leah, which two did build the house of Israel, and do thou worthily in Ephrata, and be famous in Bethlehem, so Boaz took Ruth, and she was his wife.

Thus let us proceed in all our marriages, as in the presence of the Lord; which none can do. but those that have an awful sense of the divine presence, which is graciously vouchsafed to his people in all their humble and solemn approaches to him; then He will meet them, and bless them.

I shall commit you to the Lord, and to the grace of God that is given to you; for we are not a people so stingy, as not to awn the grace communicated to others, as if we engrossed and arrogated all to ourselves; we declare, with the Apostle, that’ there is a measure of the Spirit given to every man to profit withal.’ We are all intrusted with some talents, let us remember we must give an account of them. When we are convinced of sin, let us depart from it, and live in the delightful exercise of a conscience void of offence towards God and towards men. Then we shall find there is hope for us in death, and fruition of happiness after death. It will be said unto us, ‘well done good and faithful servants, enter into the joy of your Lord.’

My Friends, consider now that Christ is universally offered to all the sons and daughters of men, and his love is, and is to be, extended to all the habitable parts of the earth. The Sun of righteousness will shine upon them, with healing under his wings; but this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men love darkness rather than light, because their deeds are evil. He that hath given us the knowledge of our duty if we seek it, will also give us strength to perform it, and work in us to will and to do, of his own good pleasure. So that though of ourselves, as of ourselves, we can do nothing, we may say with the Apostle Paul, ‘We can do all things through Christ that strengthens us.’ Let us therefore labour abundantly in the work of the Lord, and then our labour shall not be in vain in the Lord; ‘For if we be faithful to death, we shall receive the crown of life.’

Source: The Harmony of Divine Doctrines: Demonstrated in Sundry Declarations on a Variety of Subjects Preached at the Quaker’s Meetings at London by William Penn [Founder of Pennsylvania] and Others by A Lover of that People

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Character of Men, Women, What Makes the Perfect Marriage From 1876

GentlemanWolfMr. Smiles tells a story of a man in the last century who undertook to make a steam engine. He made what seemed to be a very capital engine indeed. The lever lifted to a charm, the piston answered exactly, the wheels worked beautifully, nothing could be better, but when it came to be fairly tried there was one drawback; it would just go and that was all. On its own hook it would work beautifully—-go through its own motions perfectly, but when you wanted it to lift a pound beside, then lever and piston and wheels struck work, and as it was made in an age and country in which to do nothing was to be counted a gentleman, they baptized the thing Evans’ gentlemanly engine. Now who has not seen numbers of men whose action resembles that gentlemanly engine? What little they do, they do for themselves. You can find no fault so far with their motion, and they are polished sometimes to perfection, especially those parts that are brass or steel, but they would not raise a blister on their hands to save their souls—at least they don’t. Their one motto is to take care of number one, as they say, and in taking care of number one in this light and gentlemanly fashion, they generally come either to depend on the old man every time they get into a tight place, or on their friends, until they are sick of the sight of them, as they drift down at last to the poor house or the jail, or they may go lower still. They may go down and down, until they go down to Washington [D.C.] to hunt for an office they know they cannot fill, and draw money for it they know they don’t earn—the very meanest thing, as I think, that an American citizen can do.

marriage1Now this is the first trouble we can touch in our nation to-day, that men, so very many men, should do nothing in particular, or come as near as they can to this idea of a gentleman by shirking every thing which is not easy and light. The question what makes a gentleman is not an easy one to answer, but I say that between such a man as this and a good blacksmith or wood-chopper, or any other honest fellow who puts all the manhood there is in him into his day’s work, there can be no sort of comparison. Your hard handed mechanic is beyond all question the truer gentleman as well as the better man, and in the good time coming everybody will say so who has a right to be anybody. Honest work well done is the first thing, I say. But that does not mean merely to work hard, because I take it to be more essential to work honestly than it is to work hard at any thing. I had a shop-mate, when I was a lad, who was as good a blacksmith when he did his best as any man I ever saw stand at an anvil, but it seems to me now he was the most ingenious scamp at getting up any sort of a lie in iron I ever saw with a hammer in his hand. Now a man like that may work hard, you see; but on the whole the harder he works the worse it is, because he just works hard at lying. It is no matter where such men are found, or what they are doing, they may not be blacksmiths as Jack was, but they are “Forgers” all the same, if they are only ingenious for dishonesty, and make their money by make-believes. And I say, without the least hesitation, that the blacksmith who works honestly and well from Monday morning to Saturday night, making good horseshoes, is a better man before earth and heaven than the minister who dawdles along all through the week doing nothing in particular, and then on the Sunday morning preaches a wretched sermon. I know that because I have done both.

marriage-thoughtsThe second thing we have to make sure about in this new century is a good home, and this of course presupposes a good wife and a good husband. Now I think a great many men marry in these times who don’t get a wife, and a great many women marry who don’t get a husband, and they never find their mistake out until, perhaps, it is past all remedy except that of coming to Chicago to get a divorce, which may be worse than the disease. I fear, again, this trouble comes very often in this way. Young women before they get married are only anxious to get what they call all the accomplishments. But they don’t mean by this how to make good bread, to boil a potato, or roast a piece of beef, to knit a stocking, to make a shirt and wash it and iron it, to keep a home smelling as sweet as wild roses and shining like a new silver dollar. It seems to me rather they mean how to do tatting, how to draw what Mrs. Browning calls wonderful shepherdesses with pink eyes, how to speak French very hard to be understood and how to discourse music so difficult as to make you remember Johnson’s grim joke when they took him to hear some music of that sort, and noticed he did not seem to care for it. “That is very difficult music,” said one who was with him. “I wish it was impossible,” the old man answered. This is what our girls call all the accomplishments, these they get and then they get married.

RottenecardsAnd the young man sometimes gets an education just about as delectable to fit him for a husband. We call it sowing his wild oats. The worst of it I must not name; the better end of it now and then is calculated to teach him how to play billiards rather than to’ read books, how to prefer cards to every other kind of picture, and sometimes how to be more familiar with the inside of the hells of his town than the churches. Then he goes into society, meets the young woman with all the accomplishments, believes her to be the exception to her entire sex in angelic beauty and perfect excellence, gives her what little heart he has left, poor fellow, and so the match is made and they are wedded, husband and wife so long as they both shall live—if they can stand it.

That is often like a wedding we had once in Yorkshire; as the man came out of church with his bride on his arm he met an old companion who said to him. “There lad, I wish thee much joy. thou’s gotten th’ end of all thee trouble.” This was good news, so he went on his way rejoicing; but it turned out a bad job, he had got a wife with all the accomplishments except she could not keep house; so one day, when he met his crony again, he said to him with a very doleful heart,” I thowt thaa towd me John as I wer cumin out o’ Ginseloy church, when I went to get wed, a’d gotten to th’ end of all me trouble.” “I did tell thaa so,” John answered, “I didn’t tell thaa which end.”

LovelessMarriageThen there is another match not quite so bad as this, but still bad enough. And that is when the husband and wife are both capable, both capital, and have every thing the heart can wish for except a real good honest love. The man is clever, so is the woman; she wants a home, he can give her one; she wants a husband, he wants a housekeeper; he will bring in the living and foot the bills, and she will slave and save and hear a great deal of growling then about what he calls “the extravagance of them women.” Now a good home can no more bloom out of such a life as that in this new century than a damask rose can bloom on an iceberg. It is tyrant and slave, or else it is two slaves. It is two strings full of nothing but harsh discords constantly under the ban of the daily life.

marriageBut there is a wedding which is just as good as gold, true and sweet every time, and sure to result in a good home; and that is when a man and woman, understanding what a good home and a true wedding means, are drawn together by that sure Providence which still makes all right matches in spite of the maneuvering of our prejudice and pride to prevent them. When they come together in a fair equality, not as the poet sings as moonlight unto sunlight, but as “perfect music unto noble words.” Yes, from Eastport and San Francisco, eastward and westward, a youth and maiden shall come with this equal reverence, each for the other in their hearts. They may see a great many men and women more beautiful and noble to other men and women than they are, but they shall never see those, they are looking for, until they meet in this town of yours, it may be, and it is borne in on them that they are meant for husband and wife. It is no matter then, if the one be beautiful and the other homely, or if all the world is wondering over the match. Theirs is still the greatest wonder that God should have given them this great gift as the end of all their hopes and fears. I know what such a wedding means for the home and for the life. It abides where there is no marrying or giving in marriage, but where men and women are like the angels of God. Chance and change make no difference on the golden wedding day. After fifty years of such a wedded life the glory of the maiden of twenty cannot be seen by reason of the glory which excelleth in the good old wife of seventy.

Another thing to take to heart this day, is that you young men shall go ahead, get married in this way, make these good homes and raise noble families of children for the nation instead of dawdling along until the bloom and glory of your life is over for fear the world will fail you if you take this step. It is a great mistake for a young man to think he can wait as long as he will before he takes a wife, and still be a whole true man for this grand era. But a great many do this, and if you ask them how it is, they will tell you they cannot do any better, they cannot ask a woman to marry them out of a mansion and go live in a poor man’s cottage; the woman they want could not live in a cottage, if she would, and would not if she could; she is not fit to be a poor man’s wife, and so they must wait until they get about so much money. Now I say that the woman who is not fit to be a poor man’s wife, as a general rule, is not fit to be any man’s wife. Suppose again she is fit to be a poor man’s wife, and therefore all the fitter to be a rich man’s wife, and he dare not ask her to leave her father’s mansion, and go live with him in a poor man’s cottage, but lets ” I dare not” wait upon “I would” until the best of their life is over, and then gets married, why one of the first things she tells him is that she would have been very glad indeed to marry him ten or fifteen years sooner if he had only said so. The weddings that are sometimes almost as sad as funerals to me are those that might have come and should have come in the brave May days of life, but for the sake of this wealth bought at a price no man should pay, the day was driven forward until the finest strength and bloom of the life had gone.

Let no young man in whose life the new hope of America- hides itself make this fatal blunder as he stands on the edge of the new century, don’t shunt off on a side track and wait too long for a train of circumstances to roll along and enable you to get married. Make sure of these three things—a good honest stroke of work, a good name, and a good wife, just as soon as you can, and then the older men will leave the whole venture gladly in your hands when our time comes, and get away to our rest. ~ Excerpt from Oration by Robert Collyer Lacrosse, Wisconsin July 4th,1876

See also: The Relationship Between a Man and Woman
Advice to Young People from Noah Webster Father of American Education
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A Further Testament of the Love of our Lord Jesus Christ as shown in my life

To truly understand this, you should first read A testament of the love, of the Lord Jesus as this is basically a continuation of it.

heartforgod

UPDATE: For clarity and to cut down on confusion. This post is not about me, my life, or my love, it is simply about the goodness and love of the Lord, I am simply using events in my life to show this and share with you who read it, a testimony of His great love for us all.

The love of the Lord Jesus Christ is really amazing, incomprehensible, and real. As I partially told the journey that my brother, his now wife Kathy, I and my wife to be, Darci took to finally be together, I will now tell the latest little twist of Darci’s and my relationship along with a little history to make it understandable.

CoupleDarci and I have yet to marry (we’ve been together once again for over a year now), You should really read the link above at this point if you have not done so. We haven’t gotten married because I was still married to someone else. I have been trying to get a divorce for a little over 7 years. My exe (finally), skipped out and I was unable to locate where she was, so that I could serve her with divorce papers, I hired three different lawyers thru the years to get it done, however none of them were able. My exe and I adopted my son Danny, he was actually her sisters son. When my exe took off the second time, cleaning out my bank account and taking all that she did not take the first time. I asked him then, whether he wanted to go with her, with me, or spend half his time with her, and half with me. He chose to stay with me, he also made me promise, if I could not get a divorce where he did not have to visit my exe. I would then wait until he was eighteen, or at least until he was old enough to legally choose himself, before I got the divorce. I therefore, for the last number of years had given up trying to get the divorce, until he turned 16 when I thought, surely the judge would not make him see her, if  he did not choose to. Once again, I was unable to locate her, that is, until after Darci and I got together (Thanksgiving 2011), then here last summer one of her (my exe) nieces contacted Danny, (my son) on Facebook and we were able to get an address for her.

Marriage UnityNow, the Lord has worked it out to where the absolute earliest date Darci and I can get married is; this year on my birthday. It would have been in July, however, I got so sick last month, the night before I was supposed to go to court for the judge to hopefully sign off on my divorce decree, I ended up in the hospital. I therefore had to have the judge reschedule the hearing to sign off on my divorce decree, I wasn’t sure she (the Judge) was going to because of everything I had gone through before. To make a long story short, I told you all of this to show you how the Lord has worked it out (as only He could) I finally got the divorce decree signed this morning. In Okla. you have to wait 6 months from the day the Judge signs the decree to then be able to marry. Six months from that is Aug, 19th, my birthday. As I told Darci, my brother,  and my son, it just shows how thoughtful, caring, and humorous that the Lord is. He truly is amazing, I can never get over how much he obviously loves me, especially with the way I have been towards him at times. If I had all of the rest of time, I could never fully express my gratitude, thankfulness, and humility I have for him (or should have, I know I fall short) over all the things he has done in my life and others, to show his great love and affection for us all. Truly, who else could have worked it all out so perfectly, and to have him to basically tell me “happy birthday” and gift me with the person I have wanted most in my life outside of him and his father!?! I am truly dumbfounded and am at a total loss for words. It truly overwhelms me so that my thoughts leave me and all I can think of, is how truly wonderful and good he truly is!  I am speechless, forgive me….

Not Thrown Away

Let me just add, I hope with these blog posts on my life to show in some small way to each of you who read this. The great love of the Lord Jesus Christ and God his father has for each of you, not that I have for you, because honestly I do not even love Him as I should. For truly, if he loves me so much, he surely loves each of you just as much. I hope to help you see that love in your own lives if I possibly can, if you do not see it already.

See also The Relationship Between a Man and Woman
The Wisdom and Love of God as Shown by His Creation by Noah Webster