TWO MADE ONE THE HAPPINESS OF MARRYING IN THE LORD

The Sure Foundation by William Penn

The Sure Foundation by William Penn (Click to enlarge)

Marriage is not a “Civil Right”. Marriage is an institution sanctioned by God for the express purpose of procreation and to advance the species in a manner (if done right) that is acceptable to God, which He gave us to also learn and experience something deeper than mere animal lust and self gratification!

TWO MADE ONE;

OR,

THE HAPPINESS OF MARRYING IN THE LORD.

A Sermon preached at the Quakers’ Meeting-House, in Devonshire-House, London, October 3, 1694, at a Wedding.

BY WILLIAM PENN.

IT becomes the sons and daughters of men to have a sense of their duty, that is incumbent on them, to the great God of heaven and earth; and the duty we owe to God, is to do all tilings to the praise and glory of his holy name. And happy were it for mankind if they were duly sensible of their duty and obligation to their sovereign Lord and Maker; and did set the Lord always before their eyes, and acknowledge him in all their ways, that he might direct their paths. It greatly concerns us to have an eye to the great obligation we lie under to him, who is our God and faithful Creator, that by his almighty power made us, and by his good providence hath preserved us, in the land of the living, to this day; to whom we are deeply indebted, both for our being and well-being.

They that have a sense hereof upon their souls and spirits, they will take heed not to offend him, for the fear of the Lord is planted in their hearts. This is true religion, the fear of God, which teaches man and woman, first to eschew evil, and then to do that which is good and acceptable in his sight.

The fear of the Lord, it is said, is a fountain of life, which preserves from the snares of death. No man that is replenished with the fear of the Lord can be destitute of divine life and comfort. Since the secrets of the Lord are with them that fear him, he will shew them his covenant. Abraham was said to be God’s friend, because he feared God, and God was his friend.

O my Friends! it is not a name to live; it is not the character of a profession; not adhering to a party, or being of such a society or church, or people; but it is the fearing of God, and keeping of is commandments, and believing in the Lord Jesus Christ, and shewing forth his virtues in our conversation, that doth speak us to be real Christians. ‘He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good.’ O man, that is, mankind; the whole race of human kind. ‘God hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?’ Mic. vi. 8. Let us all take heed to walk in this way, and that will give us acceptance with God, and fit and prepare us for his holy worship. Abraham was the friend of God, because he believed and obeyed, it is not enough to make a profession of religion, and godliness and Christianity, if we be found vain in our conversation, and to love the world more than God, and to be more careful what we shall eat, and what we shall drink, and what we shall put on, and how we shall divert and please ourselves than to please God. Our hearts and affections should be set on things above, and not on things below. We should, with the apostle, not look to the things that are seen and temporal, but to the things that are not seen and eternal. They that mind temporal things will fee disappointed upon a death bed; but those that fear God, shall not only have present peace, but future and everlasting comfort. Let us all endeavour to be purifying our minds, wills and affections, that we may enter into a holy covenant with God, into a heavenly marriage and league with him. They that are joined unto the Lord are one Spirit. As we come under the teachings of God, we shall be united in our love and affections to him, and delight ourselves in the Lord, who only can give us the desires of our hearts. The world passeth away, and the lustre and glory of it, and all the visible relations and capacities we stand in. Let us then use the world as if we used it not; and let them that have wives be as if they had none, (as saith the apostle) for the fashion of this world passeth away. There is a time to live and a time to die; and as sure as we die, we must be judged. Let every one of us endeavour so to live, that we may give up our account with joy, and not with grief. Let the fear of the Lord possess your hearts, which is the beginning of wisdom. When men and women do that which is pleasing to God, and live in the fear of God, and eschew evil, and do good, they, in so doing, promote their chiefest interest. The Lord takes pleasure in them that fear him: his salvation is nigh unto them that in truth call upon his name. We see God’s visible care over all the works of his hands. Here in this world, his goodness is extended to all, both good and bad; he is kind to the unthankful; he causeth the sun to rise on the evil, and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust; but in the other world there is no shining of the Sun of righteousness upon the wicked and ungodly; no comforts of the Holy Ghost, no manifestations of love vouchsafed to them; but there is a revelation of wrath, and the fiery indignation of the Almighty.

For the very prayers of the wicked are an abomination, and because they love the world more than God, and esteem it more than heaven, they shall never enter into it.

But, my Friends, seek ye the kingdom of God, and the righteousness thereof, in the first place, and follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord. Those persons that so do, have a solid foundation, they have a sure bottom that they can stand upon; they can look death and eternity in the face, upon this bottom, when they believe in the Lord Jesus with all their hearts, and shew forth all his virtues in their lives; having the promises assured to them, 1 Cor. 7. 1. ‘That God will dwell with them, and walk in them, and be their God, and they shall be his people. And I will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.’ Having therefore these promises, (saith the Apostle) ‘ let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and the spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.’ Now unto such, To live is Christ, and to die is gain.’ They live in holiness and purity, through the sanctification of the spirit, and belief of the truth, as it is in Jesus, being regenerated and born again, and thereby made meet to enter into the kingdom of God. It was sin that first brought down man, from glory to shame; Christ came down from heaven and glory, that he might bring man out of sin and shame to glory again; which by sin he had lost and forfeited. Our Saviour said unto Nicodemus, ‘Verily, verily, I say unto thee, except a man be born of water, and of the spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Marvel not that I said unto thee, ye must be born again; the wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but cannot tell whence it cometh, and whither it goeth, so is every one that is born of the Spirit. Nicodemus answered and said unto him, how can these things be? Jesus answered and said unto him, art thou a master of Israel, and knowest not these things?’ art thou a judge, and a law-giver, and not skilled in the doctrine of regeneration? man being fallen from God, there is no coming to God again without Christ, and without coming from that which separated him from the Lord.

God made all good, and man made all bad. Christ came into the world to make all good again.’ Christ died for all; but they only have the benefit of his death to salvation, that die to their sins. For sin will still live against them, for all Christ’s death, that live in sin and not in Christ. Friends, I desire that you may all come to a sense of your spiritual condition: the Lord is pleased to follow us with his mercies, and with many spiritual favours, and blessings: God is the fountain of all good, from whence comes every good and perfect gift; with whom is no variableness, nor shadow of turning; whom to know is life eternal: let us live suitably, be sensible of his mercies, and be fixed in our obedience ; for it is the obedient that eat the good of the land. Before the deluge came upon the old world, God sent his Spirit, to strive with them, to bring them to repentance. And this is our testimony, 1 John i. 2. 3. ‘That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our hands have handled, of the word of life; that which we have seen and heard, declare we unto you, that ye also may have fellowship with us ; and truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ.’ This is a time wherein we are to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling, and to give all diligence to make our calling and election sure. We have now a call to repentance, and if we faithfully answer that call, we need not fear a call to judgment; but we may, each of us say, with the Apostle, ‘I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith; henceforth there ts laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord the righteous Judge shall give me at that day; and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.’

Every one that cometh to God’s holy Spirit, to be led by it, He will lead them into all truth: if the Spirit of Christ dwell not in you, ye are none of ‘his. If we have the spirit of meekness, patience, humility, charity, and kindness, by these virtues and qualifications of Christ’s working in us, we are brought into a near relation to Christ, who is the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth. He is by nature the Son of God, and by participation of his nature, and adoption, we become God’s children too; and by the operation of the Holy Ghost, they that are born of the Spirit and partake of the fruits of the Spirit, have clear evidence of their being children of God. Gal. v. 22, 23. ‘Now the fruit of the Spirit, is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance; against such there is no law.’ If these things abound in you, you are free from the condemnation of the law. There are a people that bolster up themselves, and buoy up themselves, in not being under the law, but under grace ; but they are not yet come to the poor prodigal’s state, ‘ Father I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, and am no more worthy to be called thy son:’ nor yet to the state and condition of the penitent Publican, who prayed ‘ God be merciful to him a sinner;’ nor to Paul’s state, when he cried out, ‘O wretched man that I am, who shall deliver me r” this shall be for a lamentation, that too many are so little troubled, and concerned, for the loss of God’s favour, and of their own immortal souls; when the whole world is not so much worth as one soul. ‘What shall it profit a man to gain the whole world, and lose his own soul, or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?’ O how many do hazard their precious souls for the trifles of this vain world? let us all consider we must come to the bar of Christ the great judge of all the earth ; and if we be not found in him, not having our own righteousness, as the Apostle tells us; we shall be undone forever, and we shall see too late what we have lost: and like profane Esau, (we shall be rejected,) when he would have inherited the blessing he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears. There is nothing will remain then, but chains of darkness, they that loved darkness, here, shall he cast into utter darkness hereafter, even the blackness of darkness for ever.

Wherefore let all that believe in the light of the Lord Jesus, walk in it, and know and embrace the day of their visitation. You that know your Master’s will, be sure to do it, and he will say unto you, ‘well done :’ you shall hear that joyful sound, ‘enter into the joy of your Lord.’ God hath vouchsafed a merciful visitation, a day of grace and salvation, to the sons and daughters of men: He hath brought us from a gloomy night, and the dark clouds of ignorance and superstition, that our forefathers were involved in, and the day-spring from on high hath visited us: we have had the inshinings of divine light: yea, God hath brought us out of darkness into his marvelous light: let us walk as children of light, in the light of the Lamb of God. We live in the last days, wherein that promise shall been fulfilled, ‘That the Mountain of the Lord’s house shall be established on the top of the mountains, and shall be exalted upon the hills, and all nations shall flow unto it 5 and many people shall go and say, come ye and let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, to the house of the God of Jacob, and he will teach us of his ways, and we will walk in his paths.’ Pray consider what God speaks to the Jews, that were his chosen people, and what he says concerning his own institutions, when they were formal and hypocritical in the use of them: Isa. i. 12. 13. ‘To what purpose is the multitude of your sacrifices to me, bring no more vain oblations; incense is an abomination to me, &c. Your new moons, and your appointed feasts, my soul hateth; they are a trouble to me, I am weary to bear them: wash ye, make ye clean, put away the evil of your doings from before mine eyes; cease to do evil, learn to do well, &c. Come now and let us reason together, saith the Lord; though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow, though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool;’ God is no respecter of persons. My Friends, let us not be outward but also inward christians, in all our solemn meetings, and approve our hearts to God, and worship him in spirit and in truth. Let us consider that God is present in the midst of us.

All nations do acknowledge that God is omnipresent; the royal Psalmist thus addresses himself to God, Psal. cxxxix. 7, 8. ‘Whither shall I go from thy spirit, or whither shall I flee from thy presence? if I ascend up into heaven, thou art there, if I make my bed in hell; behold thou art there; if I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost part of the sea, even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.’ And the prophet Amos, tells us,’ it is God that formeth the mountains, and createth the wind, and declareth unto man what is his thought; that maketh the morning darkness, and treadeth upon the high places of the earth, the Lord of hosts is his name.’ O bow should we live and walk as in the presence of God! and set the Lord always before us, who is the supreme judge of the world; to whom we must be accountable for all our thoughts, words and actions. But how do the most of men live as without God in the world, live in a contradiction to their own rational natures ? God hath made men reasonable, and his judgment shall be most righteous and reasonable. The Lord hath given unto us his light and grace, if we do not improve it, and live answerably to it, we shall go down into perdition: therefore to day, while it is called to day, let us perform our duty to God, and one another, that it may go well with us for ever.

These things are of great importance which belong to our everlasting peace: these are not chimeras and enthusiastical fancies, but the great realities of religion. God hath been pleased in his admirable love and condescending goodness, to twist his glory and our felicity together, and to require nothing of us, but what is for our own interest and good: He is infinitely blessed in himself, and perfectly happy without us, but we cannot be happy a moment without him; yet we despise the riches of his goodness, that is extended to us: and like a foolish people and unwise, we are ready to frustrate the design of his mercy and kindness, and to receive the grace of God in vain.

Let this opportunity now before us, be carefully improved, in order to our spiritual benefit and advantage. Let our superlative love be set on the Lord Jesus Christ, who should be our husband and head. Let us love him with fervent and inflamed affections, as becomes the living members of his mystical body ; as those that are really united to him, and receive vital influences from him. We are now present at the solemnity of a marriage, which is a thing of itself joyous: but O let not our joy be carnal, but spiritual: let us rejoice in Christ Jesus, who for our sakes became a man of sorrows, that we might partake of that joy that is unspeakable and eternal. We may all live a happy and blesssed life, if we will live to his glory that is the giver of it, and set our affections on things above, and live in a deep and daily sense of our duty, to him that made us, and will make us happy for ever, if we be not wanting to ourselves. When the Lord-God first created man, he said, • It is not good that man should be alone, I will make him a help meet for him:’ and he caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and took one of his ribs, whereof he made the woman; and brought her unto the man, and Adam said, ‘this is bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh.’ Thus you see in the first creation; God made man and woman in one, he then joined them both in one person; then of one. he made them two; and after made them one again : b Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh.’ Gen, ii. 24. It is of very great importance to men and women, to dispose of themselves rightly in marriage: for it is for term of life; and it is that which makes people either easy or uncomfortable in their lives : therefore they must take care to be equally yoked, that they are one in judgment, and in affection. And when they change their condition, to marry in the Lord, that they may be meet helps and blessings one to another. God bath made us sensible of that delight and joy that is proper, both to the Outward and inward man, which makes us thirst after the happiness of our souls. This the saints in all ages have borne their testimony to; David who was a mighty hero, and king, a man after God’s own heart; he declares to us the temper and disposition of carnal men; they cry out, ‘Who will shew us any good?’ but this is the language and longing of the saints, ‘Lord, lift thou up the light of thy countenance upon us,’ Psal. iv. 6. That will make our hearts more glad, than those that have their corn and wine increased. The refreshing light of God’s countenance, and the sense of his love, is that which in all ages, hath been the consolation of the righteous, ever since the beginning of the world; and will be to the end fl it. So my Friends) we lay great stress and weight upon this, that married persons do not enter into that relation with a mere natural affection, or for worldly interest, or advantage: or to gratify a carnal fancy; but we must be in the exercise of a divine and heavenly affection; making the law of God our rule, and his glory our aim and end; remembering that we are none of our own, but are bought with a price: therefore we ought to glorify God, both in our bodies and in our spirits, which are His.

It becometh us to live as strangers and pilgrims on the earth; for we are but tenants at will of the great Lord; let us pass therefore the short time of our sojourning here in fear. The time past, is irrevocable; the time to come, is uncertain; and only the time present, we can call our own. Let us then improve it, while we have it; and in all our solemn meetings, let us have an awful sense of God upon us and love him, and live unto him; for we are entirely at his disposal. You that are strangers, and present in this meeting, may observe the order and method among us, with respect to nuptial solemnities. It concerns us to vindicate ourselves from those aspersions that have been unjustly cast upon us. We have no clandestine proceedings in any of our marriages, though we have been misrepresented to the world; we do observe that order and method which is set down in the holy scriptures, which are our warrant and direction. We have divers instances in scripture concerning marriages, that of Boaz and Ruth is a very eminent one; he solemnly took Ruth to be his wife, as in the presence of the Lord, and before the congregation, even all the people and the elders, and Boaz said unto them, ye are witnesses this day. And all the people that were in the gate and the elders said, we are witnesses, the Lord make the woman that is come into thine house like Rachel and like Leah, which two did build the house of Israel, and do thou worthily in Ephrata, and be famous in Bethlehem, so Boaz took Ruth, and she was his wife.

Thus let us proceed in all our marriages, as in the presence of the Lord; which none can do. but those that have an awful sense of the divine presence, which is graciously vouchsafed to his people in all their humble and solemn approaches to him; then He will meet them, and bless them.

I shall commit you to the Lord, and to the grace of God that is given to you; for we are not a people so stingy, as not to awn the grace communicated to others, as if we engrossed and arrogated all to ourselves; we declare, with the Apostle, that’ there is a measure of the Spirit given to every man to profit withal.’ We are all intrusted with some talents, let us remember we must give an account of them. When we are convinced of sin, let us depart from it, and live in the delightful exercise of a conscience void of offence towards God and towards men. Then we shall find there is hope for us in death, and fruition of happiness after death. It will be said unto us, ‘well done good and faithful servants, enter into the joy of your Lord.’

My Friends, consider now that Christ is universally offered to all the sons and daughters of men, and his love is, and is to be, extended to all the habitable parts of the earth. The Sun of righteousness will shine upon them, with healing under his wings; but this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men love darkness rather than light, because their deeds are evil. He that hath given us the knowledge of our duty if we seek it, will also give us strength to perform it, and work in us to will and to do, of his own good pleasure. So that though of ourselves, as of ourselves, we can do nothing, we may say with the Apostle Paul, ‘We can do all things through Christ that strengthens us.’ Let us therefore labour abundantly in the work of the Lord, and then our labour shall not be in vain in the Lord; ‘For if we be faithful to death, we shall receive the crown of life.’

Source: The Harmony of Divine Doctrines: Demonstrated in Sundry Declarations on a Variety of Subjects Preached at the Quaker’s Meetings at London by William Penn [Founder of Pennsylvania] and Others by A Lover of that People

Copyright © 2010 – 2015 TeaPartyEdu http://teapartyedu.net Foundation Truths http://captainjamesdavis.net The Patriot Brotherhood @CaptainJDavis ™

THE INFLUENCE OF LOVE

The Relationship Between a Man and Woman

And the Women’s Libber’s in NOW would have you believe women didn’t used to be appreciated, this piece from the 1800’s belies that assertion. I thank the Lord for the women in my life, and to the woman who encompasses all that a woman should be to me, I love you my darling.

From Gunn’s New Family Physician: Or, Home Book of Health; Forming a Complete Household Guide; Published 1868: Compiled / Authored by John C. Gunn, Johnson H. Jordan, Charles S. Royce. Unsure of the actual author of the piece.

Influence of Love:

Love is the divine essence of our being; it flows from God into our souls, and is our life. As the sun of the natural world warms the flower into life and beauty, so does the spirit of man receive the warmth of will, which animates it into life and action, from the great fountain of Divine love.

“If love, then, is one of the essential principles of our being, and through us is to fashion other forms receptive of life, how all-important that we should understand its nature and quality!

“In the brute creation, this influx of love from God is a mere external sensation. Man, too, partakes of animal love; but with him there is also an inner love, Which is spiritual and holy, as much above animal sensation, as the soul of man is above brute instinct And if this inner faculty be not cultivated and developed, man remains an animal, only exercising a rather superior understanding to other animals—dead to all the higher ends of his existence, but unfortunately too much alive to all low passions and propensities; for it is an immutable law of our creation, that we must love—-there being no life without love-and when we close our souls to the Divine love, we become receptive of infernal love—-for the lost spirits of the infernal regions love; but what do they love? all sin, and wickedness, and uncleanliness. It behooves us, therefore, to search out and try our loves, whether they be divine or infernal. And as all sin comes from love of self, we should seek, above all things, the antidote to that which enslaves us to lust, to pride, to worldliness, and all uncharitableness.

This antidote, God, in his divine providence, has provided for us; first in our love for him, and secondly, in that beautiful love which links the soul of man to woman. It is this which awakens the soul truly to God, and through which He creates the angels. Will not this thought sanctify love with so heavenly an end, that in our inmost spirit we must feel and acknowledge its holiness!

But how is love an antidote to selfishness? I speak not of mere sensual love, but of that which is spiritual and true. “When God gave woman to man, it was with a definite and divine purpose, that man in her might love himself, and thus be lifted out of his self-love. Through his senses, which join him to the visible material world, man begins to love. How often do we see this outward love glancing from the spirit-speaking eye of the young, when, in the spring-time and full joy of life, soul seeks soul, as the warbling bird doth its mate, and trills forth a love tone, and often thinks it bears its echo, when it has but struck upon a false sounding-board, that dull and heavy sound which comes to the aching heart full of disappointment. But if the true note of harmony has been trilled, how beautiful it is when man awakens from his dream of passion, and discovers that all the pride of his understanding is reflected in a softened, chastened, and more divine light in the love of the gentle being at his side; he finds his taste, his opinions, the thoughts and feelings of his own soul, appropriated by her; that all unconsciously, while he slept the deep sleep of love, from his own breast, a wife has been created “ a helpmeet for him.” How peculiarly she is his own! She is something wonderful to him; he no longer loves himself, or thinks of himself—in her centers all thought and all feeling. Then how beautifully turns that trusting, loving eye upon him—he is her wisdom, her glory, her happiness—she should learn of God through him—he may love God through her.

But, alas! how rare is the beautiful, truly spiritual union? How often the waning moon of an external love finds paired souls sundered, who are bound, the living to the dead, for this mortal life—veiling behind outward conventionalities their internal disunion, and that burdensome yoke that perhaps binds some almost angel to an ox! The dull beast of earth plods on, all unconscious and uncaring for that dear one who has been a refuge to him from the tempestuous and bereaving storms of life

Love is the weapon which Omnipotence reserved to conquer rebel men when all the rest had failed; reason, he parries; fear, he answers blow to blow; future interest, he meets with present pleasure: but love, that sun against whose melting beams winter cannot stand; that soft, subduing slumber which brings down the giant; there is not one human creature in a million, not a thousand men in all earth’s domain, whose earthy hearts are hardened against love. “ There needs no other proof that happiness is the most wholesome moral atmosphere, and that in which the morality of men is destined ultimately to thrive, than the elevation of soul, the religious aspiration which attends the first assurance, the first sober certainty of true love.” There is much of this religious aspiration amid all warmth of virtuous affections. There is latent love of God in the child that rests its check against the check of its mother, and clasps its arms about her neck. God is thanked, perhaps unconsciously, for the brightness of his earth, on a summer evening, when a brother and sister, who have long been separated, pour out their hearts to each other, and feel their course of thought brightening as they run. “Then the aged parent hears of the honors his children have won, or looks around on their innocent faces in the glory of his decline, his mind reverts to him who in them prescribed the purpose of his life, and bestowed his grace. But religions as is the mood of every affection, none is so devotional as that of love, especially so called. The soul is the very temple of adoration, of faith, of holy purity, of heroism, of charity. At such a moment, the human creature shoots up into the angel, strengthened, sustained, vivified, by that most mysterious power, union with another spirit, it feels itself on the way to victory over evil—sent out “conquering and to conquer.” There is no other such crisis in human life. The philosopher may experience uncontrollable agitation in verifying his balancing system of worlds, feeling, perhaps, as if he actually saw the creative hand in the act of sending the planets forth on their everlasting way. But this philosopher, solitary seraph as he may be regarded amid a myriad of men, knows, at such a moment, no emotions so divine as that of the spirit becoming conscious that it is beloved, be it the poorest creature in his humble cottage, or the daughter of affluence in her luxury, or the poor mechanic who toils for his daily bread, or the- man of letters musing by his fireside. The warrior about to strike his decisive blow for the liberties of a nation, however impressed with the solemnities of the hour, is not in a state of such lofty resolution, as those who by joining hearts are laying their joint hands on the wide realm of futurity for their own. The statesman, who, in the moment of success, feels that he has annihilated an entire class of social sins and woes, is not conscious of so holy and so intimate a thankfulness as they who ascribe their redemption to a new and sovereign affection.

And these are many; they are in the corners of every land. “The statesman is the leader of a nation; the warrior is the grace of an age; the philosopher is the birth of a thousand years; but the lover, where is he not?” “Wherever parents look around upon their children there he has been; wherever there are roofs under which men dwell; wherever there is an atmosphere vibrating with human voices, there is the lover, and there is his lofty worship going on, unspeakable, but revealed in the brightness of the eye, the majesty of the presence, and the high temper of the discourse. Men have been ungrateful and perverse; they have done what they could to counteract, to debase this most heavenly influence of their lives, but the laws of their Maker are too strong, the benignity of their Father is too patent and fervent for their opposition to withstand, and true love continues and will continue to send up its homage, amid the meditations of every eventide, the busy hum of noon, and the songs of the morning stars. There is something soothing and delightful in the recollection of a pure-minded woman’s affection; it is an oasis in the desert of a worldly man’s life, to which his feelings turn for refreshment, when wearied with the unhallowed passions of this world; it is that heaven-born passion that binds us in prosperity, and links us more closely under adversity; it is a tenderness unutterable, which banishes every unhallowed thought, and leads ‘us back to our primeval innocence. They know but little of this passion who deem it the offspring of sighs and protestations. These are but the husbandry which calls forth the common produce of common soils, the needful aliment of that great principle of nature, which alike peoples our cities, and our plains, our rivers, and the air we breathe. In many a heart, where it has never been awakened, lies the subtle essence, which, when touched by a kindred essence, starts at once into giant life. And how manifold are the channels through which that kindred essence works itself a passage to the sleeping mischief! A word, a look, a tone of the voice, one pressure of the hand, though a hundred have preceded it, a simple “good night,” or a parting “ God bless you!” from lips that have pronounced the words for months, shall, in a predestined moment, be like the spark that falls upon the nitrous heap, followed by instant combustion. And then what a revolution is effected! The eye sees not, the ear hears not, the mind perceives not, as it has been wont; a new being is created; the past is obliterated; nothing seems to remain of what was, and the very identity of the object by whom this delirium of all the faculties has been produce, is destroyed. We strive in vain to recall the mere man or woman we have known, in the lover or mistress we now adore. Spell-bound in the fascination, enthralled in the idolatry of suddenly awakened passions, we discover wisdom, wit, beauty, eloquence, grace, charms, benignity, and loveliness, where hitherto we at most had dim and visionary glimpses of their possible existence. All is transformed, and in a moment the heart creates its idol; all is sunshine. The graceful form flits before the imagination, and love with its genial warmth pours her incense upon the heart. Love, that cordial drop of bliss, that sovereign balm for every woe, as it is of the first enjoyment, so it is frequently the origin of our deepest distress. If it is placed upon an unworthy object, and the discovery is made too late, the heart can never know peace. Every hour increases the torments of reflection; and hope, that soothes the severest ills, is here turned into deep despair. Two souls that are sufficient to each other in sentiments, affections, passions, thoughts, all blending in love’s harmony, are earth’s most perfect reflection of heaven. Through them the angels come and go continually, on missions of love, to all the lower forms of creation. It is the halo of heavenly visitors that veils the earth in such a golden glory, and makes every little flower smile its blessings upon lovers. Nothing in life is so pure and devoted as a woman’s love. It is an unquenchable flame, the same constant and immaculate glow of feeling, whose undeniable touchstone is trial; her faithful heart is more devoted than the idolators of Mecca, and more priceless than the gems of Golconda. The world may put forth its anathemas; fortune may shower down its adversities, but in vain; still the unutterable ecstasies of this heaven-born passion are the idol of the human heart. With man, love is never a passion of such intensity and sincerity as with woman. She is a creature of sensibility, existing only in the outpourings and sympathies of her emotions. Every earthly blessing, nay, every heavenly hope, will be sacrificed for her affections. She will leave the sunny home of her childhood, the protecting roof of her kindred, forget the counsels of her aged father, the admonishing voice of that mother on whose bosom her head has been pillowed, forsake all she has clung to in her years of girlish simplicity, do all that woman can do consistently with honor, and throw herself into the arms of the man she idolizes.

Unrequited love with man is to him never a cause of perpetual misery. Other dreams will flow upon his imagination. The attractions of business, the meteors of ambition, or the pursuit of wealth, will win him away from his early infatuation. It is not thus with woman; although the scene may change, and years, long, withering, and lingering years, steal away the rose from the cheek of bounty; the ruins of a broken heart cannot be reanimated: the memories of that idol vision cannot be obliterated from the soul. She pines away again until her gentle spirit bids adieu to the treacheries of earth, and flits away into the bosom of her God. There is this difference between a woman’s love and a man’s: his passion may lead him, in the first instance, to act in opposition to opinion, but its influence is soon suspended, and a sneer or a censure will wound his pride and weaken his love. A woman’s heart, on the contrary, reposes more on itself, and a fault found in the object of her attachment is resented as an injury—she is angered, not altered.

There is such a thing as love at first sight, deny it who may; and it is not necessarily a light or transitory feeling because it is sudden. Impressions are often made as indelibly by a glance, as some that grow from imperceptible beginnings, till they become incorporated with our nature. Is not the fixed law of the universe, as illustrated by the magnetic needle, a guarantee for the existence of attraction? And who will say it is not of Divine origin? The passion of love is similar, when of a genuine kind. Reason and appreciation of character may on longer acquaintance deepen the impressions, “as streams their channels deeper wear,” but the seal is set by a higher power than human will, and gives the stamp of happiness or misery to a whole life.

I cannot but add, how truly deplorable it is that a passion which constitutes the most noble trait in human nature, should now everywhere be trampled upon by avarice. I trust I shall not witness, as our country advances, such instances of legal prostitution as have occurred in some other parts of the world.

I distinguish four seasons of love: first comes love before betrothal, or spring; then comes the summer, more ardent and fierce, which lasts from the betrothal to the altar; the third. the richly-laden, soft and dreamy autumn—the honey-moon, and after it the winter, bright, clear winter, when you take shelter by your fireside, from the cold world without, and find every pleasure there.

And then there is that love “which passeth all understanding,” Which emanates from God himself, filling us with extending joy, that shall never wear away; like a tender flower, planted in the fertile soil of the heart, it grows, expanding its foliage and imparting its fragrance to all around, till transplanted, it is set to bloom in perpetual love and unfading brightness in the paradise of God.

Follow the Star of Bethlehem, the bright and the morning star the guide to him who in his love gave his dear life for us—it will light you through every labyrinth in the wilderness of life, gild the gloom that will gather around you in a dying hour, and bring you safe over the tempestuous Jordan of death, into the haven of promised and settled rest, to enjoy that love which shall abide forever.

Perhaps a more just and beautiful compliment was never paid to woman in American history than the following, by Judge Joseph Story (1779 – 1845)

To the honour, to the eternal honour of the sex, be it said, that in the path of duty no sacrifice is with them too high or too dear. Nothing is with them impossible, but to shrink from what love, honour, innocence, and religion require. The voice of pleasure or of power may pass by unheeded—but the voice of affliction never. The chamber of the sick, the pillow of the dying, the vigils of the dead, the altars of religion never missed the presence or the sympathies of Woman! Timid though she be, and so delicate that the winds of heaven may not too roughly visit her, on such occasions she loses all sense of danger and assumes a preternatural courage, which knows not and fears not consequences. Then she displays that undaunted spirit which neither courts difficulties nor evades them; that resignation which utters neither murmurs nor regret; and that patience in suffering which seems victorious even over death itself.

SISTERS AND MOTHERS; The Scrap-book: Consisting of Tales and Anecdotes, Biographical, Historical, Patriotic, Moral, religious, and Sentimental Pieces, In Prose and Poetry. Compiled by William Fields

These are ties, which, like the invisible strings of conscience, bind man to the world of kindly affection, and are the last things forgotten when one leaves life. The married situation may be one of pure and uninterrupted felicity; there may be no cloud in its whole happy horizon; it may be ever sunny, and flowers spring in it at every season of the age. But even these happy ones, who are in this clime of bliss, remember long and late the claims of a sister or a mother to their best affections. In the life of the solitary and single, those who are said to be doomed to an ennui of loneliness, the claims of a sister and a mother should hold strongly, not only upon their feelings, but duties. Those kindnesses which men bestow upon their offspring and their wives, who possess each, and in whom their best views are concentrated, in the bachelor are given to the (almost) sacred names which constitute this heading. In loving a sister, there is none of that earthliness of passion which degrades the heart—in the devotion due to a mother, there is none of the selfishness of men. The feelings inspired by both sister and mother are all derived from sources as pure as the Divinity that inspired them.

THE PHILOSOPHY OF ADVERSITY and AFFLICTION

TheChristianPatriotJames1Compilation of adversity and affliction quotes from great philosophers.

ADVERSITY borrows its sharpest stings from our impatience; it flattereth no man; it has no friends, but is not without comfort and hope; it is the parent of virtue and is easier borne than prosperity forgot; it is the true scale in which to weigh friends; it makes wise, though not rich; it often leads to prosperity, and reminds men of religion; it is a severe instructor, but the best; successfully overcome, it is the highest glory; it tests virtue, and will not last forever; he who has not known adversity, has seen but half of the world; he who swells in prosperity, will shrink in adversity; in prosperity caution, in adversity patience; it is more difficult for a man to behave well in prosperity than in adversity; men can bear adversity, but few contempt; sweet are its uses; there is no education like it; adversity makes a man wise, not rich; in the adversity of our friends, we always find something which is not wholly displeasing to us; it is the trial of principle; who hath not known misfortune, hath not read his own heart aright; it is the balance to weigh friends; heaven often smites in mercy, though the blow be severe; adversity elicits dormant talents; it is a severe instructor; our own impatience is the sharpest sting of adversity; he who hath no cross will have no crown; adversity exasperates fools, dejects cowards, and draws out the faculties of the wise; sweet are the uses of adversity.

AFFLICTION is the school of virtue; it separates the wheat from the chaff, and is the wholesome soil of virtue; heaven tries our virtue by affliction, sanctified afflictions are spiritual promotions; a calamity is man’s true touchstone”; the best people need affliction to bring their virtues into play; contentment is thus secured; it lightens the stroke to draw near to Him who wields the rod; by trial, God is shaping us for higher things; prosperity tries the fortunate, adversity the great; God afflicts us to draw us nearer to Him; great trials prepare us for great duties; crown wearers in heaven were cross bearers here; afflictions are but mercies in disguise; they are the wholesome soil of virtue, the good man’s treasure; no man would be happy without them; one affliction is better than a thousand exhortations; the afflicted person is sacred, and the best remedy is to submit to Providence, for there is mercy in affliction’s smart; it heals all those wounds of sin which mock all human art; sorrow is better than laughter, for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is improved; affliction is the wholesome soil of virtue; it shapes as it smites, and is oft a blessing in disguise; it is the good man’s shining time, his treasure; affliction’s sons are brothers in distress, whom it is god-like to relieve; no man would appreciate prosperity thoroughly, who had not experienced suffering and sorrow; the virtuous and the wicked are alike afflicted, for the same sun shines equally upon the just and upon the unjust, and it is our duty to submit to Providence, who ordereth all things well.

LOVE THAT LASTS FOREVER: Beautiful, Dedicated to My Mother

MotherSon

I thank the Lord I still have mine here to talk to.

Love That Lasts Forever: by Rev. John George Gibson 

She told me she loved me. She said I was her darling. She said I was more to her than all the boys in the world. She said I was all her own. Then she said I was handsome, and prophesied that years would bring health and position. She did more—she kissed me. Into that kiss she put the feeling of a life-time; all the hopes of an eternity.

When sickness came she was present—ready like a ministering angel to wait or serve. Her kindly hand drawn softly across the fevered brow stole away the fever and deadened the pain. She would hold the patient’s hand in hers till he was calm enough to sleep, and then with that hand in his he would dream of a life without sickness and disappointments. After a long while he would waken to find her still there, holding his hand. “You have had a good sleep?” Yes. But how much of it was due to that waiting, sitting presence that never moved while the sleep lasted?

Years passed. I grew older, she grew older. There was no separation. I needed her, she needed me, so the life of service continued. The home was mine, the service was hers. The position was mine, the satisfaction was hers. She knew no life but the life she lived in me and for me. Every service done for me was to her full of beauty. She did not care to be seen as long as I was noticed, or heard while I was listened to. First in the morning to make all things ready, last at night to see that all things were safe.

People wondered why she was so quiet, they thought it strange she never came to the front. She gave no reasons. She knew; I knew. I was the fruit of her work, her waiting and nursing. She had preserved my life; without her the feeble spark would have gone out. She found her life in mine. Mine was younger, more expressive and up-to-date, and therefore she was content. If I spoke well it was because she had acted well. If I had climbed to a position it was because she had given me the strength to climb. If my life was public it was because hers had been so faithfully private.

Still the years passed, years that will never be described in book 01 on platform. They were our years. With them the public never had any business and never will have. Our home life was sacred. Those who tried to look through the key hole did it to their sorrow. We kept our home as our temple, and told none of its mystic rites. The sacrifices we offered were our own. The prayers we spoke and the confessions we made were our own.

As we lived and worshipped and suffered I noticed she was not what she once was. Too much watching, too much service had weakened her physical powers— she was failing. Then her love had been too strong. It had burned so brightly that the frail lamp had cracked.

Her eyes lost their brightness, and the lines appeared on her face. The summer of life was passing—the autumn with its new tints, its shadows and falling leaves, was coming.

Yes, sadness was coming and we could not prevent it. We had journeyed together so long that we never thought the parting of the ways would come; but they did come. It is always the unexpected that happens. I must go, she must remain. The parting hour came— “goodbye.”

“Why do we say it when the tears are starting?
Why must a word so sweet bring only pain?
Our love seems all-sufficient till the parting,
And then we feel so impotent and vain.”

The embrace, the soft cheek pressed against mine’ the white face looking out of the window, the waving hand,and

“The deed is done,
But now I go and go alone.”

For her the change was too great. The dear, faithful soul could not bear to live with only the memories of the past around her. One year passed, and before I could receive word the white-robed minister had laid her to rest beside other weary pilgrims. He did it kindly, not officially, for he was not chosen because of his white robe. He had been a true friend in the days of sickness. And she sleep well, though her grave is not marked. Eight years have passed and no fresh flowers have been laid upon it. History will never know her name. Charity will never raise a monument to her virtues. She never was rewarded and never will be rewarded by material things, but

“From ouf the past
Looks forth that face to cheer me.
Oh, do not ask me to forget
If memory brings her near me,”

And away in the Golden West—seven thousand miles from that grave—there are two lives that flow in one channel; two hearts that beat in one rhythm—one quiet, the other public; one unknown, the other prominent—and their sweetest memories, their closest communion, their dreams of heaven are found in that one simple word—mother.

“Nearer and nearer day by day.
The distant voice doth come;
Soft through the pearly gate it swells
And seems to call us home.”

Another Inspirational Story From My Life When I Was Fourteen

Matthew5I must tell you all of a vacation my parents took my brother and I on when I was fourteen. It was meant to be a vacation to Jamaica for two weeks during Christmas break. You know fun in the sun, sailing, scuba diving, riding horses on the beach, etc., etc., Then, not long before we went, our parents informed us we were going to Haiti for a week first, and would only be in Jamaica a week. They informed us, the plans changed because some of our churches were having a fellowship meeting with the brothers and sisters in Haiti, and we would be attending. Now, being teenagers we weren’t too happy with the prospect of attending a church meeting, when we could be enjoying snorkeling, scuba, sailing, etc., so we complained and generally let our unhappiness be known, though we knew it would do us no good.

The time came and we flew out and went to Haiti, we had no idea what Haiti would be like, when we were flying in you could see the old wrecks, various iron objects and other obstacles in the surf, so we knew we most likely would not get to have fun in the ocean or go romping around on the beach. We landed and were driven to our hotel, it was called the El Presidente Hotel in Port-au-Prince. It was a grand structure, had walls 12+ inches thick made from some kind of white stucco like material. My brother and I walked through the foyer and out onto the balconies, there were three very large balconies that ran the length of the hotel and they were terraced out over the jungle in three step downs from each terrace to the next. On the third and last terrace when we got to the edge it was about a 50+ foot drop down to the floor of the jungle.

The wall around the edge of the terrace, like all the exterior hotel walls, were made from the white stucco, they were 12 plus inches thick and had pieces of broken glass bottles embedded in the top of the walls. This was kind of amazing to us, we had never seen anything like these walls with glass bottles that would cut you if you tried to climb on them. Now being the curious teenagers that we were, we found a way to get down through the terraces, by a set of steps that led us down to the jungle floor. We therefore descended these steps to see what we could find, when we reached the floor of the jungle, we couldn’t really see too much, other than the high wall to our left and a cleared area of the jungle that ran around the hotel. We then went walking around the wall to our left, till we got to where we could look around the corner.

There, we were astounded to see this middle aged native gentleman seated on a five gallon bucket, in front of him he had a pretty large rock, he was in the process of breaking up coral into powder (we assumed having been around construction our whole lives) to patch or build, more on these white stucco walls. The thing that so astounded us, he was doing this with only rocks, he was using the large rock in front of him to put smaller pieces of coral on, while pounding them to powder with the medium sized rock coral he had in his hands. This was amazing to us, this was obviously how they had made all the walls in the great and majestic hotel out of coral, not just that, but they didn’t use any mechanical equipment to do so. This was just one of the surprises we had waiting for us on our journey of discovery.

Not long after we had arrived we got to be friends with, or introduced to some of the native children that lived at the edge of the jungle just outside of, and below the hotel. They lived with other members of their family, I think there were about three or four adults, if my memory is correct. Where they lived was a little tin shack, couldn’t have been more than a twenty by twenty foot square, haphazardly; or so it seemed to us, thrown together with a few boards, nails, and covered with tin sheeting. They didn’t have any of the modern conveniences we were used to in America, they took showers outside in a little shower stall without a roof, also with tin on three sides. We would get up early and we were amazed to see what seemed like ten to fifteen children emerge from the small shack in the morning, we didn’t know how they found room to sleep.

One of the children we got to know really well, was named David, he would climb up in the tops of the tall palms around the edge of the terraces, they came up, to just about the height of the lowest terrace. At this point in the story, I will tell you in case you do not know, Haiti at the time was the second poorest nation in the world. David would climb up in these palms and clown around trying to get the tourists to throw him money, he was quite a character and my family got to know him quite well. If I remember correctly we even brought him into the hotel with us one time, because my parents wanted to give him something, might have been some clothes, can’t remember for sure. The thing about David, besides being an exceedingly sweet child, the whole time we were there the only clothes he wore, was a pair of short pants. The thing about the short pants was, they had no rear-end, the only thing left in the seat of his trousers were the seam and stitching holding it together, his buttocks were completely exposed. I remember my parents wanted to adopt him, he was amazingly creative and intelligent, he couldn’t have been more than ten years old.

The other children were not as brave as David I guess, for they didn’t attempt to climb up in the tops of the palms as David did, they would simply try to get us to throw them money down at the floor of the jungle around the outside terrace. My brother and I frequently obliged them throwing down the coins we had in our pockets, we both worked for our father in his HVAC business, so we had money of our own. In tossing change down to the others, there were probably about ten of them, I noticed the youngest and smallest one never got any of the change, and having been the youngest growing up among older boys, I had a soft spot in my heart for the youngest. I therefore attracted his attention to stay where he was, since he was some distance from the others, got them distracted with a few small coins and threw him down a quarter. He immediately scooped it up and took off through the jungle, the others realizing what I had done, took off after him. I hope still to this day he was able to keep it away from them, we left a day or two later, so I never knew for sure. I know he was fast. so I rest in the hope he did. I wouldn’t have wanted to do anything that would have made the others even meaner to him, than I had already witnessed.

During the camp meeting services we teenagers and children were not allowed to go into the church, I say church, it wasn’t like the churches you think of here in America. This was simply a large pavilion made with pillars to hold up the structure of the tin roof, and had no outside walls, so even though we were outside, it wasn’t much different than being inside, we could hear and see everything that was happening. We just weren’t able to sit on the pews under the roof and simply stood around the perimeter of the building. There wasn’t a lot of room left on the pews either, one of the other things that truly impressed us, the people were so hungry for the truth and the gospel, they doubled the amount of people you’d have seen in the pews in America, even when the pews were full here. What they did was, one person would sit back in the pew, the next would sit towards the front edge, the next sitting like the first, all the way back in the pew, so that they were staggered along the pew so more of them could sit, it was heart touching, their rapt attention of what was being said.

One of the other amazing things to my brother and I, as we were exploring around outside the pavilion while service was taking place. They had an outside toilet, which wasn’t nothing to my brother and I, since we had an outside toilet, i.e. outhouse, in the home we grew up in, when we first moved there. The houses bottom floor being built in 1896 and the top floor being built in 1906, there was no indoor plumbing until our father installed it after we moved in. I still remember what it was like when we first saw it, no one had lived there in years, it was truly like a haunted house you see in the movies, cobwebs everywhere, big snakes in cabinet drawers, etc. To get back to Haiti though, this outhouse they had was somewhat like you’d see in America in that there was a ladies bathroom and a men’s bathroom. They even had running water, so the quests could flush the toilets, however that is where the similarities ended, what really impressed us was how they obtained this running water. The running water was fed by gravity, there being two fifty five gallon barrels on the roof, one for the ladies, one for the men’s and there was a native gentleman on the roof that would take these five gallon buckets delivered to them by the native women, who carried the buckets to them on their heads. All this so the guests could have comfort, that they themselves did not enjoy.

The people were truly touching, their care and kindness, I will always remember fondly with a tender heart. One of the things that happened I had forgotten and was reminded of, a number of years ago when my parents were telling some friends about it. During the camp meeting, on one of the first nights. This native woman was selling penny candy, (or at least then it was penny candy) for people to buy in order to assuage their thirst, hunger and to protect others from your bad breath while services were going on. I remembered her well because when I first approached her about buying some of her candy, she tried to charge me a quarter each, for a penny piece of candy, not being too much of a young fool, I told her to forget it and she quickly went down to a penny on her price. I bought a bunch of candy from her, knowing me, probably a couple dollars worth.

Known among those who knew me best, I was an extremely generous soul when growing up, so I being me, I started giving candy to those native children around me during the church service, more came, I went and bought more candy, and continued to give it out to the children around me, it wasn’t long until there were what seemed like hundreds of children around wanting candy, so many that one of the ministers stood up to the pulpit and asked over the microphone “whoever is giving the native children candy, would you please stop”. I did, and the native children slowly went back to their neighborhoods.

One of the young men I met then, was about my age and we became fast friends, although I cannot remember his name now. He took it upon himself to be my “protector” and “guide”. Protector to make sure other natives didn’t take advantage of me like the candy lady had tried to do, and guide, to take me to wherever I wished to go, including into the native neighborhoods around where the church services were being held. I went with him and met many of the people, you couldn’t have asked for more genuinely sweet, good people. They lived in little comfort, the sewer consisted of a ditch that ran along the side of the thoroughfare, whether it was a road, path, or trail. Their garbage was heaped into a central pile that was continuously smoldering in the center of each neighborhood. It was really eye opening for a fourteen year old from America, it left quite an impression on me.

This young man I had met, spent the whole week with me, taking me to places most tourists never saw, he went to the markets with me and helped me with the bartering for the various souvenirs, I wanted to bring home. He was truly a good friend in the short time I knew him, one of the last things I did before I left was to give him a ten dollar bill for all the care and trouble he took for me, showing me around and helping me. I fully expect that ten dollars, if it didn’t set him up in some kind of small business, it lasted him for at least a year. Judging from what I knew of him the short time I was there, I expect he used it to further his life and made much more money from it.

One of the other things we did, some of the older church boys took some of us younger ones to what they said was a voodoo ceremony, now we were pretty skeptical, but I will say, there was this big chicken sitting on a stump not far from me, no visible ties holding it in place and all it did was move its eyes the whole time we were there, didn’t even move its head. I won’t go into detail on the other things that took place, it was pretty wild though I must say.

One of the other things I’ll tell you about it, as I mentioned the women carrying these five gallon buckets of water on their heads. My guide informed me, by the time a girl there grew to adulthood, they could carry 100 pounds on their heads. This fresh water they carried, there was one place in Port-au-Prince I saw where they could get it from, according to what I was told, the only place, was in downtown in the central square by where they had the market. The market isn’t like some market you see in America, this market was a vast complex of outdoor stalls that took up a large portion of downtown Port-au-Prince. The native women would come from miles around just to get five gallon buckets of fresh water to take back home to their families. They not only carried water in them though, they carried, sand, gravel, and numerous other things in them. The buckets weren’t the only things they carried on their heads either, they carried all of there large cumbersome loads on their heads. They would take a cloth, roll it up in a roll like a bandana, make a small circle with it to fit the crown of their heads, and would sit the buckets on these, thus creating a stable base for whatever they were carrying.

I could go on and on about my time in Haiti, I remember it so well, because of the impression it left on my young heart and mind. While I remember some things about Jamaica, I rarely go into detail about it, because it didn’t leave near the impression upon me that Haiti did, the main thing I remember fondly about Jamaica was my first time scuba diving, and the native lady who wanted to trade clothes with me on the beach because she liked my t-shirt with the smiling sun on it and the words “smile and the whole world smiles with you”. My mom bought me that t-shirt because I was always smiling when I was a youngster. Almost broke up one of my brothers school plays one time because my smiling in the audience caused my brother and the others on stage to laugh so much. Every young person in America should go to at least one country like Haiti while they are growing up, just to give them a perspective of how truly blessed they are to have been born here.

Mom and Dad, if I never told you. Thank you for changing our plans that year, you have no idea how I am touched by and hold onto the memory of the wonderful experiences I had, and the time we spent there. I love you both dearly, my life has been greatly blessed because you are my parents!

That’s enough for now, if I think of something else good to add, or think of another story. I’ll give you more when I do, things in my life spark these memories, I never know when I will be reminded of something that I have to share. Until then I will keep adding my history pieces that could be contemporary pieces in dealing with today’s problems, and other inspirational, patriotic and educational stories from history.

For another inspirational story from my life, please enjoy Never Judge a Book by it’s Cover: In memory of a great man I once knew

God bless and Jesus be with and keep you all, always!

TRAINING AND EDUCATING CHILDREN By John Locke Published 1751

JohnLockeQuotesCuriousityTRAINING AND EDUCATING CHILDREN; Excerpt from The Works of John Locke by John Locke; Fifth Edition published 1751

[NOTE: I would encourage every parent to get out of doors with their children while they are growing, get away from the city, out in the mountains, woods, the seaside, the lake, river, prairie. Get them out among the other creatures, God’s creation; the Handmaiden of the Lord (i.e. Nature) Let their curiosity and yours never die, for there are always hidden treasures that God only reveals to eyes of those who are diligent in their search.]

Begin excerpt:

115. Children should be trained to be courageous. Keep children from frights of all kinds when they are young. . . . By gentle degrees accustom them to things they are too much afraid of. . . . Inuring children gently to suffer some degrees of pain without shrinking is a way to gain firmness to their minds.]

116. Cruelty.—One thing I have frequently observed in children, that when they have got possession of any poor creature, they are apt to use it ill; they often torment and treat very roughly young birds, butterflies, and such other poor animals which fall into their hands, and that with a seeming kind of pleasure. This, I think, should be watched in them; and if they incline to any such cruelty, they should be taught the contrary usage; for the custom of tormenting and killing of beasts will, by degrees, harden their minds even towards men; and they who delight in the suffering and destruction of inferior creatures, will not be apt to be very compassionate or benign to those of their own kind. Our practice takes notice of this, in the exclusion of butchers from juries of life and death. Children should from the beginning be bred up in an abhorrence of killing or tormenting any living creature, and be taught not to spoil or destroy anything, unless it be for the preservation or advantage of some other that is nobler. And truly, if the preservation of all mankind, as much as in him lies, were every one’s persuasion, as indeed it is every one’s duty, and the true principle to regulate our religion, politics, and morality by, the world would be much quieter and better natured than it is. But to return to our present business; I cannot but commend both the kindness and prudence of a mother I knew, who was want always to indulge her daughters, when any of them desired dogs, squirrels, birds, or any such things, as young girls use[i.e., are accustomed] to be delighted with: but then, when they had them, they must be sure to keep them well, and look diligently after them, that they wanted nothing, or were not ill used; for, if they were negligent in their care of them, it was counted a great fault, which often forfeited their possession; or at least they failed not to be rebuked for it, whereby they were early taught diligence and good-nature. And, indeed, I think people should be accustomed from their cradles to be tender to all sensible creatures, and to spoil or waste nothing at all. This delight they take in doing of mischief, whereby I mean spoiling of anything to no urpose, but more especially the pleasure they take to put any thing in pain that is capable of it, I cannot persuade myself to be any other than a foreign and introduced disposition, a habit borrowed from custom and conversation. People teach children to strike, and laugh when they hurt, or see harm come to others; and they have the examples of most about them to confirm them in it. All the entertainments of talk and history is of nothing almost but fighting and killing; and the honour and renown that is bestowed on conquerors (who for the most part are but the great butchers of mankind), farther mislead growing youths, who by this means come to think slaughter the laudable business of mankind, and the most heroic of virtues. This custom plants unnatural appetites and reconciles us to that which it has laid in the way to honour. Thus, by fashion and opinion, that comes to be a pleasure, which in itself neither is, nor can be any. This ought carefully to be watched, and early remedied, so as to settle and cherish the contrary and more natural temper of benignity and compassion in the room of it; but still by the same gentle methods, which are to be applied to the other two faults before mentioned. But pray remember that the mischiefs or harms that come by play, inadvertency, or ignorance, and were not known to be harms, or designed for mischief’s sake, though they may perhaps be sometimes of considerable damage, yet are not at all, or but very gently, to be taken notice of. For this, I think, I cannot too often inculcate, that whatever miscarriage a child is guilty of, and whatever be the consequence of it, the thing to be regarded in taking notice of it, is only what root it springs from, and what habit it is like to establish; and to that the correction ought to be directed, and the child not to suffer any punishment for any harm which may have come by his play or inadvertency. The faults to be amended lie in the mind; and if they are such as either age will cure, or no ill habits will follow from, the present action, whatever displeasing circumstances it may have, is to be passed by without any animadversion.

[117. Children must treat [others] with civility. Children should not be suffered to lose the consideration of human nature in the shufflings of outward conditions.]

118. Curiosity.—Curiosity in children is but an appetite after knowledge, and therefore ought to be encouraged in them, not only as a good sign, but as the great instrument nature has provided to remove that ignorance they were born with, and which, without this busy inquisitiveness, will make them dull and useless creatures. The ways to encourage it, and keep it active and vigorous, are, I suppose, these following:

1. Not to check or discountenance any inquiries he shall make, nor suffer them to be laughed at; but to answer all his questions, and explain the matters he desires to know, so as to make them as much intelligible to him as suits the capacity of his age and knowledge. But confound not his understanding with explications or notions that are above it, or with the variety or number of things that are not to his present purpose. Mark what ’tis his mind aims at in the question, and not what words he expresses it in: and, when you have informed and satisfied him in that, you shall see how his thoughts will proceed on to other things, and how by fit answers to his inquiries he may be led on farther than perhaps you could imagine. For knowledge to the understanding is acceptable as light to the eyes: [“For knowledge is grateful to the understanding as light to the eyes “—in later editions.] and children are pleased and delighted with it exceedingly, especially if they see that their inquiries are regarded, and that their desire of knowing is encouraged and commended. And I doubt not, but one great reason why many children abandon themselves wholly to silly sports, and trifle away all their time in trifling, is, because they have found their curiosity balked, and their inquiries neglected. But had they been treated with more kindness and respect, and their questions answered, as they should, to their satisfaction, I doubt not but they would have taken more pleasure in learning, and improving their knowledge, wherein there would be still newness and variety, which is what they are delighted with, than in returning over and over to the same play and playthings.

119. 2. To this serious answering their questions, and informing their understandings in what they desire, as if it were a matter that needed it, should be added some peculiar ways of commendation. Let others, whom they esteem, be told before their faces of the knowledge they have in such and such things; and since we are all, even from our cradles, vain and proud creatures, let their vanity be flattered with things that will do them good,1 and let their pride set them on work on something which may turn to their advantage. Upon this ground you shall find, that there cannot be a greater spur to the attaining what you would have the eldest learn and know himself, than to set him upon teaching it his younger brothers and sisters.

120. 3. As children’s inquiries are not to be slighted, so also great care is to be taken that they never receive deceitful and eluding answers. They easily perceive when they are slighted or deceived, and quickly learn the trick of neglect, dissimulation and falsehood, which they observe others to make use of. We are not to entrench upon truth in any conversation, but least of all with children; since, if we play false with them, we not only deceive their expectation, and hinder their knowledge, but corrupt their innocence, and teach them the worst of vices. They are travellers newly arrived in a strange country, of which they know nothing: we should therefore make conscience not to mislead them. And though their questions seem sometimes not very material, yet they should be seriously answered: for however they may appear to us (to whom they are long since known) inquiries not worth the making, they are of moment to those who are wholly ignorant. Children are strangers to all we are acquainted with; and all the things they meet with, are at first unknown to them, as they once were to us: and happy are they who meet with civil people, that will comply with their ignorance, and help them to get out of it. If you or I now should be set down in Japan, with all our prudence and knowledge about us, a conceit whereof makes us perhaps so apt to slight the thoughts and inquiries of children; should we, I say, be set down in Japan, we should, no doubt (if we would inform ourselves of what is there to be known), ask a thousand questions, which, to a supercilious or inconsiderate Japaner[Japanese], would seem very idle and impertinent; and yet to us would be natural; and we should be glad to find a man so kind and humane as to answer them and instruct our ignorance. When any new thing comes in their way, children usually ask the common question of a stranger, What is it? whereby they ordinarily mean nothing but the name; and therefore to tell them how it is called, is usually the proper answer to that demand. The next question usually is, What is it for? And to this it should be answered truly and directly: the use of the thing should be told, and the way explained, how it serves to such a purpose, as far as their capacities can comprehend it; and so of any other circumstances they shall ask about it; not turning them going till you have given them all the satisfaction they are capable of, and so leading them by your answers into farther questions. And perhaps, to a grown man, such conversation will not be altogether so idle and insignificant as we are apt to imagine. The native and untaught suggestions of inquisitive children do often offer things that may set a considering man’s thoughts on work. And I think there is frequently more to be learned from the unexpected questions of a child, than the discourses of men, who talk in a road. Usually asked at a later stage in the child’s development, according to the notions they have borrowed, and the prejudices of their education.

End Excerpt

Never Judge a Book by it’s Cover: In memory of a great man I once knew

homeless manNever Judge A Book By It’s Cover, in memory of a great man I once knew.

I have to write this in memory of a man I once knew in southern California. As I sat reading my Bible this morning, the Lord brought him back to my mind. This man, I met outside of a restaurant where my family, dad, mom, brother, and some others used to go after church. I used to go outside at times while I was waiting for the others to finish eating. I would run into various people while hanging out, waiting for the others.

One night, I met this man and started talking to him, he could quote me any scripture. It did not matter how hard I made it for him. I could give him a book, chapter and verse out of the Bible and he’d quote it to me verbatim. Even when I would make it hard for him and quote scripture myself, he could tell me exactly where it was in the Bible. I’d do things to try to trip him up, and he never failed to get it exactly right. I could quote him scriptures from various points in the Bible and he’d pick up on it. I used to marvel at how well he knew the Bible.

Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, 
ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be 
measured to you. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy 
brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine 
own eye? Matthew 7:!-3

The thing that really touched me, and caused me to remember him today is, you see, he was dirty, disheveled, talked to himself, and was homeless. The moral of the story, never judge a book by its cover, you may miss out on things that you marvel at your whole life, and the memory of, touches your heart as only the Lord can.

My uncle admonished me one time about how my brother and I always had friends that were low class or without class, if I had been as he admonished me to be, I would have missed out on knowing this man, who I now remember so fondly. I guess I got my love of the underdog from his sister, my mother. Moral: never avoid someone you may think beneath you, for to God, they may be above you, and you are just too blind to see, because of your high mindedness, thinking of yourself more than you are.

See, I never minded giving money to wino’s, or those who were homeless, even if I knew they would just go buy booze or whatever, as I told those who admonished me about it. Booze, etc., that is all that some of those people had, if any of them were taking advantage of me, I knew the Lord would honor my gift, whether he honored the ones who simply took advantage of me or not. Even if I felt the Lord wouldn’t honor, I would have done the same. It wasn’t up to me to judge, it was up to me, to do what the Lord laid it on my heart to do.

Another story from the same place:

Now that I have told you about him, I’ll tell you of another, I also met this younger man one night who came up to me pushing a bicycle with a flat tire, he asked me if I had five dollars so he could get it fixed. I think I gave him ten, funny thing is, I was back at the same restaurant a couple of nights later. I went outside as I normally did, and this same young man came up to me, again pushing the bike with the flat tire. He tried to give me the same story again, I laughed at him, for I was incredulous he didn’t remember me and I told him I had just given him the money to fix it a couple nights before, and I wouldn’t be fooled again. Moral of this story: Don’t be a sucker either

Burden Story Looking Back, by Florence (Burden) Harmon 1919-2013

Grandma, Grandpa, Gary (youngest son), Cindy and Christy (grand-daughters)

Grandma, Grandpa, Gary (youngest son), Cindy and Christy (grand-daughters)

In loving memory of my dear sweet grandmother Florence L. (Burden) Harmon who passed away from us yesterday (14 Nov 2013) to go away to meet the Lord Jesus; who she spent her whole life serving, and preparing for this day. A true Christian “Peace Maker” if I have ever known one. She lived her whole life preparing for the day she would be called away by the Lord Jesus. God bless her, and keep her, as she now joins grandpa, her parents, siblings, and extended family with the Lord she so loved, somewhere beyond the sunset.

Founding Father and Educator Benjamin Rush in a letter written to John Adams concerning a visit to his family homestead. This is an excerpt containing what Rush said about his visit to the family cemetery, while there. I know the feeling behind his sentiment from doing genealogy, our family history thinking of the things my ancestors faced and overcame, and visiting the graves of my ancestors. It gives you a feeling of inferiority and awe for their stamina, strength, vision and relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ and God the Father.

(Excerpt)

In walking over the grave-yard, I met with a head-stone, with the following inscription:

“In memory of James Rush, who departed this life March 16th, 1727, aged forty-eight years.

“I’ve tried the strength of death, at length.

And here lie under ground,
But I shall rise, above the skies,
When the last trump shall sound.”

This James Rush was my grandfather. My son, the physician, was named after him. I have often heard him spoken of as a strong-minded man, and uncommonly ingenious in his business, which was that of gunsmith. The farm still bears marks of his boring machine. My father inherited both his trade and his farm. While standing near his grave, and recollecting how much of my kindred dust surrounded it, my thoughts became confused, and it was some time before I could arrange them. Had any or all of my ancestors appeared before me, in their homespun or working dresses, (for they were all farmers or mechanics), they would probably have looked at one another, and said, ‘What means that gentleman by thus intruding upon us?’

“Dear and venerable friends! be not offended at me. I inherit your blood, and I bear the name of most of you. I come here to claim affinity with you, and to do homage to your Christian and moral virtues. It is true, my dress indicates that I move in a different sphere from that in which you have passed through life; but I have acquired and received nothing from the world which I prize so highly as the religious principles which I inherited from you, and I possess nothing that I value so much as the Innocence and purity of your characters.” Benjamin Rush; Philadelphia, July 13th 1812

(End Excerpt)

Burden Story Looking Back, by Florence (Burden) Harmon, assisted by Shirley Harmon. Contributors of information, Andrew William “Butch” Burden, my [Florence] father: His cousin, Agnes Deemer Neiss, His Nephew, Otis Burden.

My grandparents, Daniel Webster Burden and Susan Christine (Deemer) Burden, homesteaded a one-hundred sixty acre farm in the Land Run of 1891, one mile north and one-quarter east from Avery, Okla., of which the SW 40 is still in the family, owned by my sister, Mrs. Paul (Naomi Ruth) Bell of Cushing. The remaining one hundred twenty acres is owned by Herman Kluck. (edit, now back in the family) In the same land run, my great grandparents, Andrew William Deemer and his wife, Elizabeth (Metz) Deemer, homesteaded a farm at the ages of 61 and 59 respectively, in the Soonerville area, which now belongs to John and JoAnn Cargill. Andrew W. Deemer was Holland “Dutch” from Rochester, Pennsylvania, where his family was in their glass making business. Elizabeth (Metz) Deemer came from Germany as a child of (9) years. In 1864, the Deemer family moved to Johnson County Missouri, where they resided until participating in the Land Run. They had three sons; Henry, Wesley, and Jacob: six daughters, Susan Christine. Sarah, Mary, Caroline, Elizabeth and Margaret. Great-grandfather Deemer was a farmer and a professional carpenter. In 1902, they moved to Kansas, where Mrs. Deemer died shortly after, and Mr Deemer returned to Oklahoma, to live in Yale with a granddaughter, Nora Burden, until his death in 1918. Nora Burden was a dressmaker, milliner, nurse and restauranteur in Yale for many years. Great-grandfather Deemer was a member of the Grand Army of the Republic on the North side during the Civil War. Agnes Deemer Neiss, who contributed to the article, now resides in the Colonial Plaza Nursing Center of Cushing, Okla. She was the daughter of Jacob Metz Deemer, who married Dorsa Wheeler of the Cushing area, the daughter of Phillip and Sarah Emma Wheeler. Mrs. Neiss has a brother, Dennis Deemer, who now resides with a son in Phoenix, Ariz. [Burden’s originated in Scotland, Harmon’s England]

Daniel W. Burden had three brothers; John Burden of Yale, who married Susan’s sister, Margaret. Their children were Nora, Alice, Bill and a daughter who died in childbirth. The other brothers were; Charlie Burden and Freeman ‘Burden, of which not too much is known by us, and one sister, called Lude. William Burden had a brother, Eldredge, who moved to Indiana, he became a judge. Daniel’s father, William Burden, married a German woman named, Jane Utz. William Burden raised hogs in Missouri and while feeding and watching them eat, was shot by snipers during the Civil War. John, his son, then took his Dad’s Uniform and went to fight in his place.

Daniel and Susan Burden had six sons. Alfred, father of Otis Burden, Benjamin, Andrew William (Butch), Ralph, an unnamed infant who died at birth, and Raymond, one daughter, Florence. Alfred Burden as a young man, hauled lumber with a team of oxen, from Davenport, Okla. to Cushing for resale. The family resided , on the Burden Homestead until 1904, when Uncle Alfred and Grandfather Burden bought a 640 acre ranch, approximately three miles from Depew, Okla. They rented out the homestead and moved to the ranch with all the family, except Alfred who had married Mary Rice of the Avery Community and as newlyweds, moved to Colorado and lived for awhile.

Grandfather Burden bought and raised cattle on the ranch,  My father, A.W.Burden, recalls seeing a zebra graze near the cattle for two days. He never knew where it came from or where it went. He also saw a bald eagle eating a rabbit among the timber on the ranch. He walked near the eagle, scaring it, and it flew very high and disappeared. They resided at the ranch until statehood in 1907, then sold out, and moved back to the Homestead near Avery.

Grandfather, Daniel Burden, hauled freight, to and from Guthrie, for early Cushing stores, namely Carpenters and Carvers. When buying groceries and supplies for their family, they took a two day trip to Guthrie, once each month. They bought their staples in large containers, parched and ground their own coffee. My father said, “That was real coffee.” Grandfather Burden later worked for Jacob Puckett. He also served as one of the early day Sheriffs. Their first dwelling on the Homestead, was a tent, then they built a sod house, using the tent to cover it. Later, they built a log house. While living in the log house, young Benjamin kept having the stomach ache, and told his Mother, “Ma, wes go back home, dis ole log house gives me de belwy ache.” Billy Hockemyer built the first frame house. The present house was Grandpa’s and Grandma’s last home. Grandpa Burden died in 1924, at the age of 66 years. Grandma died in 1940, at the age of 81 years. She was blind with cataracts for twelve years before her death. She was a very independent person. After going blind, she used a cane to go through the house by herself. They also had a rope from the back door to the outdoor toilet, that enabled her to go and come without help. Some of the things I remember most about Grandma, before she went totally blind, she used to make delicious biscuits (double dough type), when we grandchildren would stay the night with her; also she would tell us stories at night, often time, old ghost tales, some of which she said were supposed to be true. She used to sit in her rocker and rock slowly and sing old hymns, “What a Friend”, “Only Trust Him” and others. Uncle Alfred was a very enterprising young man, always on the lookout for opportunity, when the railroad came through and Mound city was founded, later called Avery, he ran the Livery barn and operated the first taxi service. His father-in-law, Frank Rice, was the first postmaster of Mound city. Mr. Rice and G. A. Robertson were two of the earliest businessmen to settle in Mound City, moving from Baker Village because of the railroad. After living in Avery for a time, Mr. Rice moved to a farm, one half mile north of Avery, in 1910, adding a two story portion to the existing house. (Edit: This is the house I grew up in, first story was built in 1896), Uncle Alfred’s son Otis and wife, Olive, live just north of the Summit Ridge Shopping center in Cushing. Alfred and Mary Burden had four sons, Olan, deceased; Otis of Cushing; George, of California; and Francis, who died in infancy; also one daughter, Rose Mary, who died at birth. Alfred Burden died in 1967 at the age of 85 years. Mary (Rice) Burden, died in 1972, at the age of 90 years. They were residing in Cushing at the time of their death,

Mamie Florence Burden, married Tom Cunningham of Yale, where he was a Barber. He was killed very early in their marriage and there were no children. Aunt Florence lived in Yale for several years before moving to Sapulpa, where she died in 1964, at the age of 78 years. A special treat in the summertime was when my Cousin Thelma and I got to visit her and Aunt Nora in Yale.

Benjamin Burden, married Vivian Larkins; a niece of Maude Rider, an early resident of Avery. Uncle Ben passed away in 1967, at the age of 73 years, while living in Sapulpa. They had one son, by adoption, Thomas. He and family live in Sapulpa. Aunt Vivian still lives in Sapulpa.

Ralph Burden, married Lena Smith, daughter of Henry Smith, a farmer of the Cushing area. Uncle Ralph served in WWI. Their children; Thelma, deceased; Raymond, of Jenks, Okla.; Dorothy, of Sapulpa; Henry, deceased; and Donna Sue, also of Sapulpa. Aunt Lena passed away in 1951, at the age of 52 years. Uncle Ralph died in 1967, at the age of 73 years. They lived in Sapulpa at the time of their deaths.

Raymond Burden married Jewel Gentry. Uncle Ray died in 1974, at the age of 76 years. Jewel is also deceased, they lived in Sapulpa at time of death. They had two children; Raymond, of Lindsey, and Idora Sue, of Sapulpa. Of all Daniel’s and Susan’s children, only my father, A. W. Burden is living.

Grandpa Andrew "Butch" Burden

Grandpa Andrew “Butch” Burden

When my father and some of his brothers were still single, they were at a dance in Avery. They were preparing to leave and my father (Andrew “Butch” Burden) went back inside for one brother, and a man (edit: mans name has been xx’ed out I cannot read it) being drunk, jumped him and cut his left side open, piercing his lower left lung. After recovering, while still single he worked on several ranches; the Butcher Ranch near Bartlesville, and the Fowler Brothers Ranch near Ralston, Okla. to name a couple. My Dad was quite a cowboy; riding broncs, breaking horses and riding in rodeos. He was working for his brother, Alfred near Shamrock, Okla. when he met my mother, Nellie Leona Ricks, daughter of John Henry and Lula Lamar (Crawford) Ricks, whom he later married at the Creek County Courthouse, in Sapulpa, Okla. on February 12, 1919. [Ricks originated in England, Crawford Scotland] My father was born May 3, 1891 in Holden, Mo. and my Mother [Nellie Leona (Ricks) Burden] was born March 26, 1903 in Powhatan County, Arkansas. She died October 24, 1976, at the age 73 years. After their marriage, they moved one mile west of Shamrock, where my brother and I were born. In 1922, they moved into a tent on my Grandparent’s Homestead. I was born in December, 1919 and my brother, Elvin Andrew was born in October, 1921. He married a Cushing girl Georgia Lou Campbell. They have three children; Ronald, of Davenport, Okla., where he works for an Uncle, Mr. Forbes, in the bank; Richard and Marilyn, both of the Tulsa area. Elvin and Georgia Lou live in Tulsa, where he has worked at W. C. Norris Co., for almost 30 years. Later, my parents moved to the SW 40, where they lived when my brother Merle Edward was born, February, 1924. He was killed on the Railroad track, which ran through the property, In November, 1925, while trying to follow my father, who was in the wagon, taking a load of cotton to Avery. Later, my sister Irma Elva, was born, August, 1927, and she later died of diphtheria, January, 1929. Later, my parents moved several while farming for others. While living on the McMurray farm, north of Stroud, my sister, Naomi Ruth, was born in January, 1936. She married Paul D. Bell, son of Roland R. and Mamie Bell, who operated the New Method Cleaners in Cushing for several years. Earl Edward Bell, who worked for Roland Bell, at the cleaners, was residing in Tulsa, as a manager of the Picadilly Cafeteria a few years ago. He was kidnapped and murdered, following a robbery, by a former employee. Paul D. Bell now works at the VoTech School in Drumright as an instructor of Key Punch and Data Processing. Naomi Ruth and Paul have ‘ one son, Paul Eugene, who lives on his Mother’s part of the Burden farm, with his wife, Terri (Johnson) Bell and two children, Brena, a girl, and their five month old baby boy, Paul Edward Bell. Paul Eugene works at the Cushing Fire Dept. John Henry Ricks parents were Samuel W. Ricks and Priscilla Payne.

Grandma Nellie (Ricks) Burden and Grandpa Butch Burden

Grandma Nellie (Ricks) Burden and Grandpa Butch Burden

My parents, A. W. and Nellie Burden, later moved into Stroud and lived there during the Depression Years. My father worked for Bob Terry, in the Blacksmith Shop. We later returned to the SW40 portion of the Burden Homestead, which later became my Father’s inheritance. During this time, they improved and added onto the house. My Mother loved to do carpenter work, in fact, she once told a neighbor, that she would rather do that, than eat when she was hungry, She was always finding more ways to improve their homes. They lived in Tulsa for several years, where they completely remodeled the home they bought . They also helped several of their grandchildren, with improvements on their homes. While living in Tulsa, they celebrated their golden Wedding Anniversary with an open house, for their old friends and neighbors, in their previous home on the Burden Homestead. This carpentry trait has passed on down the family to me and also my daughters.
At the age of 19 years, I married Vernon E. Harmon, on June 3, 1939, son of Alonzo L. (Peanuts) Harmon and Anna Eliza (Flessa) Harmon. We lived in the Cushing area for a few years, during which our first two children, Bobby Dale. and Shirley Ann were born. We later moved to Avery, to the Tom Coleman property, which we bought, and where our third child, Elberta Kay was born. We then moved to Grand Junction, Colo, and my parents also moved there. We lived there for two years, then returned to Avery, where our two older children attended Avery School for their first year. During this year of 1945, on the day Franklin D. Roosevelt died, a tornado struck Avery, blowing out all the west windows and ruining the roof of my parents home. We later moved to the Tulsa area and then into Tulsa where we lived for several years. When Vernon retired, we returned to Avery to make our home. Vernon did carpentry work for several years before becoming Maintenance Man of Tulsa’s Northland Shopping Center for thirteen years. Anna Eliza Flessa, daughter of Henry Edward Flessa and Christine Anna Ellis. Alonzo (Peanuts) parents were John Thomas Harmon and Lucetta Jane Yost. John Thomas was the son of Absalom Harmon who married the daughter of Captain George Donner, Elizabeth, who according to family history became pregnant just before the ill fated trip west, when the family took the turn at Hastings Cutoff, Absalom and Elizabeth stayed behind due to the complications of her pregnancy. It is not clear whether they returned immediately to Illinois or whether they stayed somewhere around the Fort Bridger area until after the birth of the baby, John Thomas Harmon.

Our son, Bob, married Judy Spires of Tulsa. They have one daughter, Robin, and live in Avery. Bob is employed with Wright’s Electric in Cushing, and Judy works at Dell Telephone. Our daughter, Kay married James Rogers, of Oologah, Okla. They have three children, Cindy, Christy, and Michael. They are making their home in Jennings, Okla. They operate a concrete finishing business in the Tulsa area. Our daughter Shirley married Robert J. R. Davis, they have two sons, Richard and Robert, they have a Heating and Air Conditioning business in the Tulsa area.

My Father A. W. “Butch” Burden (1891-1979) wrote a song about Avery’s early years and declining years.

We’ll sing a song of Avery,
She used to be a town.
But old Depression hit her,
And Avery’s falling down.

East side, West side,
All around the town,
It’s plain to see,
Old Avery’s falling down.

There’s Billy in the restaurant,
Allen in the store,
Business has been sagging much,
Since 1924.

Mary was the postmiss,
While Shorty tends the store,
And Emmett’s on the corner now,
No profits anymore.

Johnny was the banker,
But found it would not pay,
Bought a barn and filled it,
Full of barley, oats, and hay.

Harry runs the station,
Altho’ there’s few cars stop,
And when they do, Old Harry boy,
is Johnny-on-the-spot.

Happy Jack, the farmer,
A man of some renown,
Says, “When they all get moved,
He’s going to farm the town.”

Friends, now do you think it fair?
I do, altho’ not quite,
Except he leaves a little patch,
For our friend, Ernie Wright.

There won’t be any Avery,
There won’t be any lights,
And where will Cecil Ditto go,
To pass away the nights.

Goodbye, goodbye, old Avery,
You’re sinking, that is true,
We’ll get Hiram Long, to sing a song,
And we will bury you.

The people written about in this song were all deceased by 1979

My Father wishes to say, “He is now in a bigger business than ever before, that of trying to serve His Lord.” by Florence L. (Burden) Harmon

Update Nov 18th: One of the many Gospel songs my grandmother wrote.

I have so much, to thank you for, Dear Jesus.
I have so much to thank you for, Precious Lord.
You gave me eyes that I might see,
A chance to someday reign with Thee.
I have so much to thank you for, Precious Lord.

I have so much, to thank you for, Dear Jesus.
I have so much to thank you for, Precious Lord.
You gave me eyes that I might see,
A chance to someday be like Thee.
I have so much to thank you for, Precious Lord.
by Florence Lorene (Burden) Harmon

As a side note: One of the wonderful ways of the Lord. In all my years of growing up in Church, this was one of my very favorite songs. I never knew it was one of the songs written by my grandmother until her funeral today. She was always so humble and unassuming, always concerned with everyone’s welfare and hoping for the best. The one thing she wanted in life was for her children and grandchildren to serve and be saved by the grace of the Lord she loved and served so truly.

I remember when I started writing poetry a number of years ago, she was very pleased that her and her fathers gift for words was passed onto another generation in her grandchildren. She made a great many contributions to the church and God’s people. One of the many things in our lives where the Lord shows His workings. The minister (Rev. Ray Leniger) of the church I grew up in, my mother and her siblings grew up with Bro. Leniger and his siblings, as well as my brother and I growing up with Bro. Leniger’s children, all of us never knowing we were actually cousins until I did Bro. Leniger’s family tree a few years after he passed away. When I found out a few years ago that we were all cousins, Grandmother related to me how she had cared for Brother Leniger’s mother when she was sick with tuberculosis.  As evidenced by the words spoken and the speakers at her funeral today, she touched a great number of lives with her own. A great many other lives with the words and songs she contributed to the Body, never seeking credit or fame for herself.

Now that I look back, the Lord must have been in the last long talk we had a few weeks ago. It was about events taking place in my life, the Lord, thanking Him for His grace and goodness on our lives. How good He is, how much we love Him, and my personal desire to please Him. That’s the main thing she wished for her family was for them to have a love for the Lord and a wish to serve Him. I thank Him now for that talk we had, I will always remember it, I cannot think of anything better we could have talked about in our last long conversation. She and her prayers will be missed, may the Lord raise up another to continue on where she ended.

Thank you Lord, she will be missed. I think they wrote the Burden story in the 1970’s for the Perkins newspaper. Thank you Lord for the time we had together, looking for the day we’ll all be together again.

I asked my grandmother the last names of the people mentioned in the Song of Avery, their last names are as follows:

Hiram Long, Cecil Ditto, Ernie Wright,

the ones without last names are as follows,

Happy Jack,(I don’t know how it is spelled, it sounds like Mc-Que-in) the farmer.

Old Harry runs the station, (Crown)

Emmett’s on the corner now (Coleman),

Shorty tends the store, (Coleman, she wasn’t sure on this)

Mary was the postmiss, (Coleman, she wasn’t sure on this)

Allen in the store, (G. A. Robertson) (note: one of his brothers was Governor)

Billy in the restaurant, (Parker)

Johnny was the banker, (Murphy)

Character of Men, Women, What Makes the Perfect Marriage From 1876

GentlemanWolfMr. Smiles tells a story of a man in the last century who undertook to make a steam engine. He made what seemed to be a very capital engine indeed. The lever lifted to a charm, the piston answered exactly, the wheels worked beautifully, nothing could be better, but when it came to be fairly tried there was one drawback; it would just go and that was all. On its own hook it would work beautifully—-go through its own motions perfectly, but when you wanted it to lift a pound beside, then lever and piston and wheels struck work, and as it was made in an age and country in which to do nothing was to be counted a gentleman, they baptized the thing Evans’ gentlemanly engine. Now who has not seen numbers of men whose action resembles that gentlemanly engine? What little they do, they do for themselves. You can find no fault so far with their motion, and they are polished sometimes to perfection, especially those parts that are brass or steel, but they would not raise a blister on their hands to save their souls—at least they don’t. Their one motto is to take care of number one, as they say, and in taking care of number one in this light and gentlemanly fashion, they generally come either to depend on the old man every time they get into a tight place, or on their friends, until they are sick of the sight of them, as they drift down at last to the poor house or the jail, or they may go lower still. They may go down and down, until they go down to Washington [D.C.] to hunt for an office they know they cannot fill, and draw money for it they know they don’t earn—the very meanest thing, as I think, that an American citizen can do.

marriage1Now this is the first trouble we can touch in our nation to-day, that men, so very many men, should do nothing in particular, or come as near as they can to this idea of a gentleman by shirking every thing which is not easy and light. The question what makes a gentleman is not an easy one to answer, but I say that between such a man as this and a good blacksmith or wood-chopper, or any other honest fellow who puts all the manhood there is in him into his day’s work, there can be no sort of comparison. Your hard handed mechanic is beyond all question the truer gentleman as well as the better man, and in the good time coming everybody will say so who has a right to be anybody. Honest work well done is the first thing, I say. But that does not mean merely to work hard, because I take it to be more essential to work honestly than it is to work hard at any thing. I had a shop-mate, when I was a lad, who was as good a blacksmith when he did his best as any man I ever saw stand at an anvil, but it seems to me now he was the most ingenious scamp at getting up any sort of a lie in iron I ever saw with a hammer in his hand. Now a man like that may work hard, you see; but on the whole the harder he works the worse it is, because he just works hard at lying. It is no matter where such men are found, or what they are doing, they may not be blacksmiths as Jack was, but they are “Forgers” all the same, if they are only ingenious for dishonesty, and make their money by make-believes. And I say, without the least hesitation, that the blacksmith who works honestly and well from Monday morning to Saturday night, making good horseshoes, is a better man before earth and heaven than the minister who dawdles along all through the week doing nothing in particular, and then on the Sunday morning preaches a wretched sermon. I know that because I have done both.

marriage-thoughtsThe second thing we have to make sure about in this new century is a good home, and this of course presupposes a good wife and a good husband. Now I think a great many men marry in these times who don’t get a wife, and a great many women marry who don’t get a husband, and they never find their mistake out until, perhaps, it is past all remedy except that of coming to Chicago to get a divorce, which may be worse than the disease. I fear, again, this trouble comes very often in this way. Young women before they get married are only anxious to get what they call all the accomplishments. But they don’t mean by this how to make good bread, to boil a potato, or roast a piece of beef, to knit a stocking, to make a shirt and wash it and iron it, to keep a home smelling as sweet as wild roses and shining like a new silver dollar. It seems to me rather they mean how to do tatting, how to draw what Mrs. Browning calls wonderful shepherdesses with pink eyes, how to speak French very hard to be understood and how to discourse music so difficult as to make you remember Johnson’s grim joke when they took him to hear some music of that sort, and noticed he did not seem to care for it. “That is very difficult music,” said one who was with him. “I wish it was impossible,” the old man answered. This is what our girls call all the accomplishments, these they get and then they get married.

RottenecardsAnd the young man sometimes gets an education just about as delectable to fit him for a husband. We call it sowing his wild oats. The worst of it I must not name; the better end of it now and then is calculated to teach him how to play billiards rather than to’ read books, how to prefer cards to every other kind of picture, and sometimes how to be more familiar with the inside of the hells of his town than the churches. Then he goes into society, meets the young woman with all the accomplishments, believes her to be the exception to her entire sex in angelic beauty and perfect excellence, gives her what little heart he has left, poor fellow, and so the match is made and they are wedded, husband and wife so long as they both shall live—if they can stand it.

That is often like a wedding we had once in Yorkshire; as the man came out of church with his bride on his arm he met an old companion who said to him. “There lad, I wish thee much joy. thou’s gotten th’ end of all thee trouble.” This was good news, so he went on his way rejoicing; but it turned out a bad job, he had got a wife with all the accomplishments except she could not keep house; so one day, when he met his crony again, he said to him with a very doleful heart,” I thowt thaa towd me John as I wer cumin out o’ Ginseloy church, when I went to get wed, a’d gotten to th’ end of all me trouble.” “I did tell thaa so,” John answered, “I didn’t tell thaa which end.”

LovelessMarriageThen there is another match not quite so bad as this, but still bad enough. And that is when the husband and wife are both capable, both capital, and have every thing the heart can wish for except a real good honest love. The man is clever, so is the woman; she wants a home, he can give her one; she wants a husband, he wants a housekeeper; he will bring in the living and foot the bills, and she will slave and save and hear a great deal of growling then about what he calls “the extravagance of them women.” Now a good home can no more bloom out of such a life as that in this new century than a damask rose can bloom on an iceberg. It is tyrant and slave, or else it is two slaves. It is two strings full of nothing but harsh discords constantly under the ban of the daily life.

marriageBut there is a wedding which is just as good as gold, true and sweet every time, and sure to result in a good home; and that is when a man and woman, understanding what a good home and a true wedding means, are drawn together by that sure Providence which still makes all right matches in spite of the maneuvering of our prejudice and pride to prevent them. When they come together in a fair equality, not as the poet sings as moonlight unto sunlight, but as “perfect music unto noble words.” Yes, from Eastport and San Francisco, eastward and westward, a youth and maiden shall come with this equal reverence, each for the other in their hearts. They may see a great many men and women more beautiful and noble to other men and women than they are, but they shall never see those, they are looking for, until they meet in this town of yours, it may be, and it is borne in on them that they are meant for husband and wife. It is no matter then, if the one be beautiful and the other homely, or if all the world is wondering over the match. Theirs is still the greatest wonder that God should have given them this great gift as the end of all their hopes and fears. I know what such a wedding means for the home and for the life. It abides where there is no marrying or giving in marriage, but where men and women are like the angels of God. Chance and change make no difference on the golden wedding day. After fifty years of such a wedded life the glory of the maiden of twenty cannot be seen by reason of the glory which excelleth in the good old wife of seventy.

Another thing to take to heart this day, is that you young men shall go ahead, get married in this way, make these good homes and raise noble families of children for the nation instead of dawdling along until the bloom and glory of your life is over for fear the world will fail you if you take this step. It is a great mistake for a young man to think he can wait as long as he will before he takes a wife, and still be a whole true man for this grand era. But a great many do this, and if you ask them how it is, they will tell you they cannot do any better, they cannot ask a woman to marry them out of a mansion and go live in a poor man’s cottage; the woman they want could not live in a cottage, if she would, and would not if she could; she is not fit to be a poor man’s wife, and so they must wait until they get about so much money. Now I say that the woman who is not fit to be a poor man’s wife, as a general rule, is not fit to be any man’s wife. Suppose again she is fit to be a poor man’s wife, and therefore all the fitter to be a rich man’s wife, and he dare not ask her to leave her father’s mansion, and go live with him in a poor man’s cottage, but lets ” I dare not” wait upon “I would” until the best of their life is over, and then gets married, why one of the first things she tells him is that she would have been very glad indeed to marry him ten or fifteen years sooner if he had only said so. The weddings that are sometimes almost as sad as funerals to me are those that might have come and should have come in the brave May days of life, but for the sake of this wealth bought at a price no man should pay, the day was driven forward until the finest strength and bloom of the life had gone.

Let no young man in whose life the new hope of America- hides itself make this fatal blunder as he stands on the edge of the new century, don’t shunt off on a side track and wait too long for a train of circumstances to roll along and enable you to get married. Make sure of these three things—a good honest stroke of work, a good name, and a good wife, just as soon as you can, and then the older men will leave the whole venture gladly in your hands when our time comes, and get away to our rest. ~ Excerpt from Oration by Robert Collyer Lacrosse, Wisconsin July 4th,1876

See also: The Relationship Between a Man and Woman
Advice to Young People from Noah Webster Father of American Education
ATT000466

A Further Testament of the Love of our Lord Jesus Christ as shown in my life

To truly understand this, you should first read A testament of the love, of the Lord Jesus as this is basically a continuation of it.

heartforgod

UPDATE: For clarity and to cut down on confusion. This post is not about me, my life, or my love, it is simply about the goodness and love of the Lord, I am simply using events in my life to show this and share with you who read it, a testimony of His great love for us all.

The love of the Lord Jesus Christ is really amazing, incomprehensible, and real. As I partially told the journey that my brother, his now wife Kathy, I and my wife to be, Darci took to finally be together, I will now tell the latest little twist of Darci’s and my relationship along with a little history to make it understandable.

CoupleDarci and I have yet to marry (we’ve been together once again for over a year now), You should really read the link above at this point if you have not done so. We haven’t gotten married because I was still married to someone else. I have been trying to get a divorce for a little over 7 years. My exe (finally), skipped out and I was unable to locate where she was, so that I could serve her with divorce papers, I hired three different lawyers thru the years to get it done, however none of them were able. My exe and I adopted my son Danny, he was actually her sisters son. When my exe took off the second time, cleaning out my bank account and taking all that she did not take the first time. I asked him then, whether he wanted to go with her, with me, or spend half his time with her, and half with me. He chose to stay with me, he also made me promise, if I could not get a divorce where he did not have to visit my exe. I would then wait until he was eighteen, or at least until he was old enough to legally choose himself, before I got the divorce. I therefore, for the last number of years had given up trying to get the divorce, until he turned 16 when I thought, surely the judge would not make him see her, if  he did not choose to. Once again, I was unable to locate her, that is, until after Darci and I got together (Thanksgiving 2011), then here last summer one of her (my exe) nieces contacted Danny, (my son) on Facebook and we were able to get an address for her.

Marriage UnityNow, the Lord has worked it out to where the absolute earliest date Darci and I can get married is; this year on my birthday. It would have been in July, however, I got so sick last month, the night before I was supposed to go to court for the judge to hopefully sign off on my divorce decree, I ended up in the hospital. I therefore had to have the judge reschedule the hearing to sign off on my divorce decree, I wasn’t sure she (the Judge) was going to because of everything I had gone through before. To make a long story short, I told you all of this to show you how the Lord has worked it out (as only He could) I finally got the divorce decree signed this morning. In Okla. you have to wait 6 months from the day the Judge signs the decree to then be able to marry. Six months from that is Aug, 19th, my birthday. As I told Darci, my brother,  and my son, it just shows how thoughtful, caring, and humorous that the Lord is. He truly is amazing, I can never get over how much he obviously loves me, especially with the way I have been towards him at times. If I had all of the rest of time, I could never fully express my gratitude, thankfulness, and humility I have for him (or should have, I know I fall short) over all the things he has done in my life and others, to show his great love and affection for us all. Truly, who else could have worked it all out so perfectly, and to have him to basically tell me “happy birthday” and gift me with the person I have wanted most in my life outside of him and his father!?! I am truly dumbfounded and am at a total loss for words. It truly overwhelms me so that my thoughts leave me and all I can think of, is how truly wonderful and good he truly is!  I am speechless, forgive me….

Not Thrown Away

Let me just add, I hope with these blog posts on my life to show in some small way to each of you who read this. The great love of the Lord Jesus Christ and God his father has for each of you, not that I have for you, because honestly I do not even love Him as I should. For truly, if he loves me so much, he surely loves each of you just as much. I hope to help you see that love in your own lives if I possibly can, if you do not see it already.

See also The Relationship Between a Man and Woman
The Wisdom and Love of God as Shown by His Creation by Noah Webster
 
My love and I, a couple years after we first met

She

Dedicated to the girl who has always occupied my heart! My love, my life, my desire, I love you baby! I’ve been thinking of writing this one for a while!

She makes me laugh more in a few months than I have almost my whole life.
She lights up the room for me when she enters.
She can calm me when I am in a rage, and
She can makes me smile, when all I want to be is mad.
She makes me think of things in ways I never have.
When all the world is in turmoil around us,
She can help me make sense of it,
and see the workings of the Lord in it.
She can make me feel love,
Even when I am angry at the world!

She makes me smile just by thinking of her,
She can calm my entire being with just a touch.
She puts up with me when I play dirty little ornery tricks on her, a lot!
She laughs with me at those same tricks.
She doesn’t know it, but, she doesn’t have to speak a word, give a look, or even a touch,
to make me love her more everyday.
Just being herself and I think of all the little ways she tries to please me.
She makes my heart grow just by thinking of her.

She is the most beautiful girl I have ever known,
She always held this distinction in my eyes.
She lets me know she loves me with a look, a touch, a sigh,
She does it in so many little ways, I cannot describe.
She is truly amazing, how even the little things that irritate me,
They make me laugh and love her all the more.
She has earned my deepest respect and my sacred trust!
She has brought out things in me, that no one else ever could.
She brings out a tenderness in my heart, that I thought was reserved only for the Lord.

She is the standard which every other girl has ever been held to.
She is the balance by which all other girls were weighed.
She is the ruler by which all others were measured.

She contrasts me and compliments me, in ways that can only be described as God’s perfect union.
She is not perfect, yet it is those imperfections, that make me, love her all the more greatly.
Those imperfections were put there by the hand of the Master, for He knew.
She is my soulmate, my lifelong love, my heart of hearts.
She is everything that I ever wanted in a woman,
She is that and so much more.

When God made her, He knew more about what I wanted, than I myself did.
For she never ceases to surprise me with how much He made her for me.
She does it just by being herself,
She doesn’t even know it,
Yet with each new thing I learn about her,
Satisfies longings, desires that I never even knew were in me.
She was truly made by God for me and I for she.

I couldn’t help but love her,
For loving her, is why I was made.
She makes me happier than I ever thought it possible to be.
Her smile always transforms, and improves my day.
She is my sunshine when all is gray.
She truly is my beautiful, precious and delicate flower.
The most beautiful, precious and delicate flower I have ever had in my hands!
I love you baby, I hope this gives you a smile.
Yours is worth more than a million bucks!

I love you truly, unconditionally, unwavering, undaunted, with all my heart, my being, for all time!

I can only thank God the father for His love, and Jesus Christ His son, for his hand in our lives. Thank God we finally found what we were looking for, and it was each other!

Everlasting-love-card-7

A testament of the love, of the Lord Jesus

Dedicated to the Great Lord, Darci, the only girl I ever really loved, my brother Rich, and his bride, Kathy. Please bear with me, it’s long,  it’s worth the read however, I hope.

I don’t really know how to start this one off. There are so many things in my heart I wish to express, hopefully I can do it justice.

Let me start by giving a little background, Kathy, Rich and I grew up in the same church, it is also where I first met Darci, I was 10, she was 9. I remember the first time I saw her, as clear as if it were yesterday, it was truly love at first sight. I couldn’t take my eyes off her, nor could she take hers off me. We were boyfriend-girlfriend off and on through our early-mid teens. Kathy and Rich were childhood sweethearts through their teen years, Darci, I, Rich and Kathy used to double date before I was able to drive, or at least legally.

Darci and I parted when I was about 14, Kathy and Rich when they got somewhat older. Darci married at 15, then I married at 17. I got divorced at 19, when we were in our early 20’s we got together again. We were together for a time, went our ways again. Didn’t talk again until we were in our late 20’s. She doesn’t even remember talking to me then, however the Lord had been talking to me about her for at least a year or two when she called me. I didn’t know then though, that He was talking to me about her. I was dating and breaking up with a girl, I was dating at that time. A girl by the way, who I was dating for the simple reason, she reminded me of Darci.

I won’t tell you what all I was going through at the time, it was hell, cause I couldn’t figure out what was going on, I have always analyzed everything in my life. I must add, not long before this I had even questioned the existence of Jesus. To tell a little of what I experienced, it was like I was having one conversation with one person or a superior being i.e. God, through everyone I talked to. Let me try to explain to the best of my ability, I have always had a good memory and played back in my mind every conversation I have ever had with people, in the days after the conversation(s) took place, therefore I remembered them. For a number of weeks, before I figured out the Lord was talking to me, each person, (family, friends, acquaintances) I encountered and talked to, it was like an ongoing conversation with one person. On top of that, what they said when I encountered them, it was like they were even responding to what I was thinking or had been thinking at the time. It seemed to me, at least until I understood what was going on, they all knew what was going on and I was the only one in the dark. I kept asking them, “what’s going on?” My family thought I was going insane, I must say at times it felt like it. When I realized the Lord was talking to me it hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew He was trying to get through to me on some things. However, I didn’t understand some or a lot of what He was saying at the time.

To tell you how I finally understood it was the Lord Jesus talking to me. It got to the point where I was so totally exhausted, mentally, physically, and spiritually that I could hardly even lift up my head. When I got to that point, one day my brother and I were going to help our dad on a job he was doing. We lived in California at the time, we were driving on the freeway, I was a wreck and the first time I forced myself to lift up my head, we just so happened to be going under an overpass that someone had painted graffiti on, I had seen a lot of graffiti as it is all over Southern California. However, this was not your normal gang related graffiti or someones art, this was simply where someone had painted, “Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus” over an over, they had made two rows of His name on the side of overpass. This was all I saw when I looked up. When I saw it, the greatest and most overwhelming love washed over me, it was like nothing I had ever felt, even though I had grown up in a very religious family and loved the Lord with all my heart as a child. See, I didn’t really figure out anything, He had to show me. I was so amazed He took the time with me, when that happened and it finally dawned on me “what was going on!“.

Now back to Darci and I, I had known (to some extent at least) since our teens that she & I were meant to be together, however I could not say the right words to make her see this. I can be blunt and matter of fact, I think, knowing her now, that she thought I was arrogant or something. I just tell it like I see it, the truth, no apologies, no beating around the bush. I think I knew when we first saw each other that she was the one, I was just too young to understand it. I asked my dad when I was very young how I would know when I found the “one“, I still remember that like yesterday too, he said “You’ll just know“. I can’t even begin to put in words how I loved, and wanted more than I had ever wanted anything, just to love and be loved by her. All that being said, I did not even then understand what all it meant, because I thought I could be happy with other women, not any woman, I have always had to have a love for anyone I was with, and since I always gave 110% (at least to begin with, just being honest) in any relationship. I always thought even though there is one perfect mate for everyone, I thought I could be happy with others who I had love for. After a number of relationships and two marriages, I figured out (after studying myself and my life) I would never be truly happy with anyone else. The Lord had to incapacitate me for a number of years and leave me house bound for me to take the time to really think about what I wanted in life, to study the life I had led, and the chronological events of my life, to truly understand this.

I never tried to go after her when we parted ways, because I knew it wouldn’t do me any good, until she understood what I had known for so long. I must say I had all but given up hope, that would ever happen, more on that in a bit. Every girl I was ever with, she was the yardstick, by which they were all measured, she was the standard that they were all put up against. I was never with any girl/woman that could make me forget her, nor, that could keep me from thinking of her. They of course never knew this, nor did she, until I told her here while back.

Back to her and I in a bit, let’s talk about my brother and Kathy. I love my brother more than life, I knew for years by watching him with girls other than Kathy that he had always been, was still in love with Kathy, even though he let her marry someone else without saying a word. I knew this by the girls he had relationships with the longest, cause they reminded me of Kathy, not the looks really, more the demeanor and personalities. He never dated anyone long unless they reminded me of her.

As I alluded to earlier, I tend to analyze things, “a lot” this is how I figure things out, although it drives some of those I am closest to nuts at times. LOL! I have to say, this is how God made me. I can remember conversations, situations, etc. verbatim. I will go over things in my mind long, long after they take place, when I am trying to figure out what’s going on. And, I’m always trying to figure out something that’s going on. LOL! I was told when I was 17 by a cop, I would make a great detective. There is also a bit of discernment involved, I think some of the people on twitter have seen this with me.

I talked to Kathy about 2 years ago, I said to her then “You know, Rich has always been stuck on you”. I don’t know how long after this, that they started talking on the phone to each other, maybe they already had been. I don’t think they were talking much if any though, they did however start talking, that led to dating, dating has led to marriage. They are getting married on the 23rd of June, which happens to be my mom & dads anniversary. I must say, I never knew how romantic my brother could be. I laugh at how he is with her, not because I think it is funny, but because I love them both so much and am overjoyed for them. To understand, why I say what I do, about how romantic he is with her, you’ll have to read the blog post I did, when I first found out they were dating. The Rise and Fall of my Big Brother I can’t tell you how many times he told me he’d never get married, he hadn’t ever met a girl who was worth it. I knew better….I have never seen him more tender than he is now with her, it truly touches my heart and makes me smile.

Now my bro just reached the half century mark, Kathy’s almost there, Darci and I are in our late 40’s. I don’t know if I truly understand all of the variables involved, in what took us all so long. Kathy, I think would have married Rich when they were together in their teens, had he straightened up, been responsible, etc. I don’t know, it might only have taken him asking her. He didn’t, whatever the case, so she moved on. I know I have waited a long time to see him happy, and I have never seen him more happy, than he is now. Maybe he just needed time to truly appreciate her, maybe he just needed to understand how much he needed her. I tend to think it is more the latter. Darci, well, I would have came to her no matter where, nor what time, or who I was with, all she ever had to do was ask. I know that I failed to make her understand how much I loved her. (I don’t however know what more I could have said, obviously there is more I could have done) I feel that it also had to do with me being so wild, and not so responsible myself at some levels. My bro and I are country boys, that could have something to do with why we were so wild for so long. However, I believe that it also has to do with the fact, that neither of us had what we wanted, and/or needed most in life. I always believed Darci loved me, I therefore could never understand why she didn’t see what I did. I never troubled her over it though, I knew she had to see it for herself.

I must add at this point that all of us have had our share of bad relationships and heartache. Now, Darci and I are back together, Kathy and my bro are back together. I don’t think any of us have ever been happier. Maybe we all just needed to understand how much we needed each other, time to truly appreciate what we have. I told them all the other day when a medical matter came up for Kathy, I had texted my bro, told him that I loved him, and was thinking of him. I then called our mother, she told me about Kathy. My bro texted me back about Kathy, asked me to pray. I told him “I already was, mom had just told me. I guess that is why I was thinking of you, love you” I went on to say “the Lord would not finally put us all, where we were always meant to be, to then take away what we needed all along. Perhaps we all need to consider Him more. I know I do……”

I then said “God is good, and Jesus loves us more than we could ever dream or imagine. We are truly blessed, can you imagine after all these years, He cared enough for each of us so very much (not just us as a whole, but each of us individually) to put us each, in the situation to bring us together, after all these years of failing to do it ourselves? He is truly AWESOME, I can’t thank Him enough, nor could I ever, not just for what He has done for Darci and I, but also for you bro, and Kathy. You have no idea how many years I wished and hoped you’d wake up to what I knew so long ago, just by observing your relationships and the girls you dated the longest. I truly could not be happier for you bro, you deserve it. My happiness for you is equaled only by my own happiness for Darci and I.”

To truly understand what the Lord has done, let me point out. I am in my late 40’s, I was in my late 20’s when the Lord was telling me things about me, my future, etc. things that I am only now, understanding what He meant, and that He had been talking to me then about Darci. Not just talking to me about her, He told me things then, about what He wanted from me. Things that I have only learned since Darci and I got together at Thanksgiving of this last year, (2011) what He meant by the things, He told me then. I have this thing, like I said, I remember everything. He told me things then, that He knew I would not understand till now, some of those things, it’s amazing. The understanding, of some of those things He told me then, comes with some simple little statement she makes now, that ties in with what He told me then. When this happens, it hits me like a ton of bricks, so that is what He meant. One of those things, understanding came when I was doing her genealogy and I looked up the meaning of her name. He knew I would not understand it till I did, so He put me in the situation that caused me to get into genealogy. It was long after He had told me what He did about her in this instance, that I became interested in genealogy. Had I not gotten into genealogy a number of years ago. I would never have looked up what her name meant, as I did a few weeks ago. I can look back now, and see how He tried with us all, to get us together, straighten us out, practically our whole lives. We were all just too caught up in ourselves, I would bet all of us had all but given up on love, happiness, when He was finally able to open us all up, to what we needed to do, to get where we needed to be.

For those that think the Lord does not interfere in the affairs of men, or believe, that He does not deal with individuals. You better think again. I have learned in the last 20+ years there are no coincidences in this life, there are only things that we fail to understand their meaning. Do not ever doubt the love of God, nor Jesus. Jesus’ love surrounds us, it is in everything He created.

God bless and keep you all, always, in all your ways. I hope that each of you who read this find the love and happiness, we have all found in Jesus!

See also A Further Testament of the Love of our Lord Jesus Christ as shown in my life
The Wisdom and Love of God as Shown by His Creation by Noah Webster

Obnoxious & Rude Twitter Behaviour

I haven’t been on twitter long but in the time I have been, it has come to my attention that there are some pretty obnoxious twitter users, that do not consider how they not only negatively affect others, but by doing so they also negatively affect themselves. One particular one I am thinking of  (I’ll be nice and not mention their twitter handle) this particular person likes to send links to his blog to people. He does this, not only to individuals who follow him, he also does it to people who do not follow him. Not only does he do this, but when there are a group of people chatting or Mentioning each other in a set of tweets, he will reply to that group, i.e. highjack it, adding himself and a link to his blog in with the reply. I don’t know about everyone, but most of us never even look at his blog when he does this, more out of principle and irritation than anything else. Who cares if what he has to say is even any good, just the fact that he adds himself to the original tweet that did not include him is enough, to turn us off to what he has to say. It is one thing to send a link to your blog to a group of friends, i.e. followers you converse with frequently who know you well. Doing this every great once in a while when you have something posted pertaining to a certain event, i.e. like 9-11, is not out of line. It is quite another to send links to your blog constantly, to people you never have any other exchanges with.

You also have all of these follow back people, that basically do the same thing without the blog link. If someone replies to a group of my friends that have Mentioned me and other friends in a tweet or group of tweets, where we are Mentioning each other, and says follow for follow or followback. I simply ignore them, if they keep doing it with many tweets they get blocked. It is much more effective to contact each individual that you wish to follow you on an individual basis, not the whole group, you were not even a part of in the first place!  Then when you contact the individual, you should ask them politely if they would like to follow you, if you follow them. You don’t just say follow for follow, if all your doing is looking for followers, when all you tweet about is, to ask for more followers this is also rude. Then you have those that take it even further, they ask you to follow them, say they will follow you. Then after you follow them, they either do not follow you, or they stop following you not long after you follow them.

Then you have the followers who you enjoy following, you have common interests, you enjoy the same things. Yet for whatever reason they get upset with you, they unfollow you, they do this without ever saying a word to you about it. It would be polite when this is the case, no matter how upset you are with them over something they have tweeted, that is not even an attack or anything directed at you. It would be common courtesy if you ask me, for you to contact that person, let them know you had a problem with their tweet and let them know you are unfollowing, so that whoever it is, is at least aware, so they can also unfollow you. It is pretty rude behavior, if you ask me to unfollow such a person without giving them a chance to explain, whatever infraction you think they caused you, or did you. It is downright obnoxious to unfollow them without letting them know you have done so, just so you’ll still have them as one of the statistics in your twitter follow numbers. If you do not want to contact the person, who you wish to unfollow, the very least you should do is block them, so that it will cause twitter to automatically unfollow them from you also!

Then you have those that may have the same interests, and the first time they contact you is by putting you in a list of other people they mention, never saying a word, just adding a link to their blo,g and then expect you to be nice about it. That is not a very effective way to communicate to people you have things in common with, and get them to follow you. Then you have those that that are followers of of people you follow. The person you follow sends them as part of a list of Mentions including yourself, this person who is a follower of the person you follow, replies or retweets the list however many times, could be just one. The guy I am thinking of in this particular instance, may have retweeted twice, however the only one I noticed was one, where he said something to the effect, number 5 and still no follows. If he had wanted me to follow, he should have been polite, followed me and let me then decide whether I wanted to follow him back. Normally if there is someone following me that I share common interests with, I will follow as long as the do not use the F word or have excessive cussing in their tweets. He could have also followed, and then politely brought it to my attention that he had, and ask me to consider following him back. Kindness and politeness really does, go a long way with people you have never spoken to before.

One other instance I had today, I have an female escort service in the UK following me, I have also had naked or very scantily clothed women following me. While I do not mind them following me, seeing as how they may learn something, that may turn them from the path they’re on. I do not follow them back, and I do not want to be Mentioned in any of the tweets they recommend to their followers. I had the escort service Mention me, adding also in the list another twitter account name, that I do not want to be associated with. I ignored it thinking that would be the best policy because then they usually unfollow and go away. I then had one of the trolls, that Retweet or reply those lists of Mentions, thus adding himself to the list. I then tweeted a message to the three of them “I wish people like escort agencies and the like would not mention me to their followers”, I also added directed at the one who had Retweeted, I wish they also would not Retweet the list. Well that wasn’t good enough for the troll, he responded to my tweet, without taking out the people I found offensive to my mission and beliefs. He said something to the effect that there are worse things in the world, and that he was not following any of us btw. I ignored that, and then to top it all off, he again tweeted the three of us and told us that he would follow us though, if we wanted him to. What is wrong with people these days, it shows a total lack of respect for someone else’s wishes, and no regard for what they have said. It goes to the lack of respect in all instances in today’s society, which is another thing I am going to write about when I am ready, thanks to my muse who also suggested I write this one.

Now politeness goes a long ways, I had one that turned out to be one of the sweetest Ladies on twitter that I have met, she kept on Mentioning me in lists of my friends. I did not think, from looking at her profile ,that we had anything in common so I did not respond. Then when some of my closer twitter friends started also adding her into lists of recommendations including me, I began to think, maybe she wasn’t what she seemed to be to me, by what I had read on her twitter Bio/Profile. I then, and I must say, I wasn’t near as polite as I should have been, I sent her a tweet letting her know I wasn’t into the things that she had in her Bio, but I was going to have to give her a chance. She has truly turned out to be a very sweet person with a good heart, a Lady and true friend. I even followed a person back, that we are on total opposite sides of the political spectrum, simply because of the kindness and politeness he showed me, in one tweet that he sent. Therefore when you are wanting people to follow you, it is good to think about what impression you make on a person, with that first tweet you send them, asking them to follow you.

For more on Twitter etiquette please see Vadim Lavrusk’s  10 Commandments of Twitter Etiquette

by Tea Party Patriot, lover of Jesus, God, family, friends and Country Proud Hobbit, R. Davis, 2011